Welcome to my Blog

Thank you for stopping by. This space is where I share research, reflections, and practical tools drawn from my experience as a marriage and family therapist.

Are you a couple looking for clarity? A professional curious about the science of relationships? Or simply someone interested in how love and resilience work? I’m glad you’ve found your way here. I can help with that.

Each post is written with one goal in mind: to help you better understand yourself, your partner, and the hidden dynamics that shape human connection.

Grab a coffee (or a notebook), explore what speaks to you, and take what’s useful back into your life and relationships. And if a post sparks a question, or makes you realize you could use more support, I’d love to hear from you.

Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.
~Daniel

P.S.

Feel free to explore the categories below to find past blog posts on the topics that matter most to you. If you’re curious about attachment, navigating conflict, or strengthening intimacy, these archives are a great way to dive deeper into the research and insights that I’ve been sharing for years.

 

How to Fight Fair Daniel Dashnaw How to Fight Fair Daniel Dashnaw

The Not-Fight Fight: Why the Worst Arguments Are the Ones That Never Happen

There’s the yelling fight.
There’s the crying fight.
There’s the “one of us storms out and the other one Googles ‘uncoupling” fight.


And then there’s the Not-Fight Fight.

You know the one.


Where nothing is technically said, but everything is heard.


Where the conversation about who should’ve picked up the dry cleaning somehow becomes a referendum on your entire emotional history.


Where the silence is so loud it makes you miss actual yelling.

It’s the kind of fight couples don’t even remember having—because they never actually had it.

They just walked into a low-pressure front, smiled, made dinner, and quietly started treating each other like coworkers who barely survived a team-building retreat.

Read More
How to Fight Fair Daniel Dashnaw How to Fight Fair Daniel Dashnaw

The Fight You’re Having Isn’t the Fight You’re In: Why Many Couples Argue About Absolutely Nothing

At some point in your marriage—likely while standing in front of an open fridge arguing about mayo—you will feel a sudden existential vertigo and ask:

“Wait… what are we even fighting about?”

This is a sign you’ve achieved Level Two of Relationship Consciousness. Level One is still believing you’re fighting about the actual mayo.

But by Level Two, you’ve begun to suspect something terrifying:

It’s not the fight. It’s the pattern.
It’s not the issue. It’s the invisible emotional contract being violated.

Welcome to the real game.

Read More

Lovemaking While Pregnant: Will It Give Your Baby a Philosophy Degree? (Probably Not, But It Won’t Hurt Either)

Pregnant people Google some truly wild stuff at 3 a.m.—including, “Can my baby feel it when we have sex?” and “Will frequent lovemaking while pregnant affect my baby’s brain?”

These are the kinds of questions that belong to our most vulnerable and intimate selves—the ones that suddenly appear while brushing your teeth or halfway through watching The Great British Bake Off.

So let’s do this gently, but truthfully. In a world full of misinformation, medical shame, and grandma’s unsolicited advice, here’s the real story.

Read More
Signs of Trouble Daniel Dashnaw Signs of Trouble Daniel Dashnaw

Stanford Study Warns: AI Therapy Chatbots May Reinforce Psychosis and Enable Suicidal Behavior

A new Stanford University study has uncovered a troubling pattern: popular AI-powered chatbots marketed—or used—as "therapists" are not only unequipped to handle users in crisis, but may actually reinforce dangerous mental states, including delusional thinking and suicidal ideation.

As access to traditional mental health services remains limited, many users—especially teens and young adults—are turning to AI chatbots for emotional support.

Whether it's general-purpose bots like OpenAI's ChatGPT or explicitly therapeutic platforms like 7 Cups or Character.

AI, the appeal is clear: free, always-on conversation that feels human. But according to the Stanford team, the emotional illusion can carry real risk.

Read More
Attachment Issues Daniel Dashnaw Attachment Issues Daniel Dashnaw

Why Millennials Are Leaving Religion—But Not Spirituality: A Decade-Long Study Offers Clarity

A generation is quietly rewriting the rules of faith.

Millennials, long portrayed as apathetic or irreverent when it comes to religion, are not so much turning their backs on the sacred as they are walking out the side door of the church.

According to a sweeping longitudinal study published in Socius, this cohort—tracked from adolescence into adulthood over a ten-year period—has been steadily disengaging from organized religion.

But they aren’t becoming wholly secular. They’re reimagining what it means to be spiritual in a world where institutions often feel more judgmental than just, more performative than prophetic.

Read More
What Happy Couples Know Daniel Dashnaw What Happy Couples Know Daniel Dashnaw

Trust: The Most Underrated Mental Health Strategy of Our Time

What if the single most powerful intervention for lifelong happiness wasn’t mindfulness, exercise, gratitude journaling, or even love—but trust?

Not the fluffy, pastel-hued version of trust you find in self-help books. But something more radical: a willingness to risk connection.

A readiness to offer good faith in a world that often seems built to erode it.

A sweeping 2025 meta-analysis led by Shanshan Bi, Catrin Finkenauer, and Marlies Maes (Utrecht University) analyzed over 2.5 million participants and found this:

Trust predicts happiness. And happiness, in turn, increases our ability to trust.

Read More
Signs of Trouble Daniel Dashnaw Signs of Trouble Daniel Dashnaw

Can We Hack Our Personality? Using Dark Traits Without Becoming a Jerk

Harness your inner Machiavellian. Without losing your soul.

We’ve made personality traits into moral absolutes: empathy = good, detachment = bad. But real life isn’t a Pixar movie.

Sometimes the most functional person in the room is the one who knows how to strategically detach, say no without apologizing, and set goals like a tactical submarine commander.

The research keeps nudging us toward an uncomfortable truth: some traits we’ve labeled “dark” can be adaptive—if used consciously, ethically, and with a well-tuned internal compass.

So the question isn’t just “Are you Machiavellian?” It’s: Can you be occasionally Machiavellian on purpose, for your own good?

Read More
Signs of Trouble Daniel Dashnaw Signs of Trouble Daniel Dashnaw

When is Narcissism Just Confidence with Better Branding?

Narcissism. The very word triggers eye-rolls, sighs, and a general sense that someone in the room has just started a podcast. But like most overused insults, it masks more than it reveals.

Because not all narcissism is a black hole of self-absorption.

Some of it—specifically narcissistic extraversion—might just be confidence wearing louder shoes.

This post isn’t about defending toxic people.

It’s about pulling apart a trait cluster that our social-media driven culture has flattened into a cartoon.

If we can tell the difference between pathological entitlement and healthy self-regard, we might be able to stop labeling all confidence as a character flaw.

Read More
Signs of Trouble Daniel Dashnaw Signs of Trouble Daniel Dashnaw

Strategic Bastards and the Art of Coping Flexibility

Let’s say life throws a flaming bag of sh*t at your doorstep. As I see it, gentle reader, you have three options:

  1. Cry.

  2. Meditate and hope for inner peace.

  3. Quietly, methodically, open your Notes app and write a three-phase mitigation plan with color-coded contingencies.

If you chose Option 3, congratulations: you might be a strategic bastard.

And you might also be better equipped to handle depression.

What Is Coping Flexibility, Really?

Coping flexibility isn’t about being stoic or zen. It’s about having a diversified psychological portfolio.

It means knowing that soothing yourself with peppermint tea is lovely—but sometimes, what you really need is to build a strategic pivot table for your life.

Read More
Signs of Trouble Daniel Dashnaw Signs of Trouble Daniel Dashnaw

Not All Villains Wear Capes: When ‘Dark’ Traits Help Us Survive

Some people meditate.

Some people cope by rage-texting their ex.

And some, apparently, quietly Machiavelli their way through depression while the rest of us mainline chamomile tea and CBT workbooks.

That’s not just snark. It’s science.

New research is pointing to a deeply uncomfortable truth for therapists and saints alike: certain personality traits we’ve spent decades labeling as "dark" might actually help people survive psychological distress.

You know, the ones you warn your daughter about on dating apps: Machiavellianism, narcissism, and psychopathy.

Collectively known as the Dark Triad, these traits are the Mean Girls of personality psychology. They manipulate, self-promote, and ghost without blinking.

But like every good anti-hero, they might just have one hidden virtue: resilience.

Read More
Daniel Dashnaw Daniel Dashnaw

The Case for Strategic Bastards: Why a Little Machiavellianism Might Save You From Depression

For the longest time, psychologists have treated the “Dark Triad” like the personality equivalent of asbestos: useful once, maybe, but mostly toxic and definitely best avoided.

Machiavellianism, narcissism, and psychopathy—those three troublemakers—have been blamed for everything from corporate malfeasance to your uncle’s Facebook rants.

But what if, just maybe, one of these dark traits is quietly doing some good? What if being a bit of a strategic bastard actually helps you stay sane?

That’s the premise of a new study out of Queen’s University Belfast, where researchers have taken a scalpel to the Dark Triad and found something surprising:

Machiavellian agency—the calculating, goal-driven cousin of classic Machiavellian sneakiness—might actually help people avoid depression by boosting their coping skills.

Read More
Signs of Trouble Daniel Dashnaw Signs of Trouble Daniel Dashnaw

Why Narcissists Often Feel Unfairly Treated at Work (Even When They’re Not)

A new study finds that narcissists are more likely to feel underappreciated and unfairly treated—because they overestimate their own contributions. Let’s explore how entitlement skews their perception of equity.

Everyone wants to feel valued at work.

But some people consistently believe they’re giving more than they’re getting—even when their output doesn’t match the self-praise.

According to a new study in the International Journal of Organizational Analysis, people with pronounced narcissistic traits often feel shortchanged in professional settings—not because they are, but because they overestimate their contributions.

Researchers Abdelbaset Queiri and Hussain Alhejji (2025) surveyed 150 employees across Oman’s health, education, IT, retail, and finance sectors. Their findings point to a key insight:

Narcissists feel cheated because they think they deserve more than everyone else.

Read More