We all know about physical hoarding—the piles of clutter, the inability to let go of things we no longer need. But what happens when that hoarding takes the form of emotions?

Enter emotional hoarding—the accumulation of unresolved feelings, past grievances, and unspoken issues that pile up until they completely block healthy communication within a family.

Emotional hoarding is a sneaky disruptor of family relationships, leading to conflict, distance, and, often, a breakdown of trust and intimacy.

As a couples therapist, I’ve seen it play out many times, including in one family who stepped into my office: the Landers.

In this blog, we’ll unpack the concept of emotional hoarding, using the Landers as our case study to explore its impact on neurodivergent and neurotypical family members alike. Using research-backed insights, we'll also discuss how families can break the cycle and clear out their emotional clutter.

Have you ever heard someone say they’re feeling “extra spicy” today, but they’re not talking about food?

Welcome to the world of neurospicy, a playful term that’s taking over social media platforms like TikTok and Instagram.

If neurodivergent brains were flavors, being neurospicy would mean you’ve got a little more zing—a unique spice that makes life a bit more interesting.

In this blog post, we’re diving into the history of the neurospicy meme, why it’s going viral, and how this quirky term is reshaping the conversation around neurodivergence.

What Does “Neurospicy” Even Mean?

Yes, you read that right—Olympic events! Welcome to the Executive Dysfunction Olympics, where neurodivergent executives battle it out to master the art of “getting through the day.”

Now, let me introduce you to my client Rishi, a highly successful CEO of a thriving tech startup.

From the outside, Rishi seems to have it all together—leading a team, securing investors, and spearheading product launches.

But behind the scenes, Rishi is competing in his own version of the Executive Dysfunction Olympics, where simple tasks can feel like extreme sports.

Have you ever watched a video at double speed?

Everything moves so fast, you struggle to keep up.

Now, imagine living with that sensation every day. Welcome to 2x Speed Brain, where thoughts race ahead, focus is fleeting, and even simple tasks can feel like an overwhelming juggling act.

For neurodivergent folks—especially those with ADHD and autism—this is a familiar reality.

2x Speed Brain is more than just a meme; it’s a way to describe the mental chaos that comes from having a brain wired for rapid-fire thinking. Let’s dive into the science behind 2x Speed Brain, and discover strategies to harness its power.

What is 2x Speed Brain?

You’re at a family dinner. The conversation is loud, there are too many people, and your internal social battery is dropping rapidly.

Suddenly, you feel it: that 1% warning. You might as well see a flashing red light in the corner of your eye screaming, “SOCIAL BATTERY LOW.”

Welcome to the world of the Social Battery Gauge meme, where managing your social energy is just as critical as managing your phone's battery.

What is the Social Battery Concept?

In any relationship, feeling misunderstood or criticized is hard to handle, but for people with ADHD, these feelings can be amplified into something much more intense—rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD).

When rejection sensitivity is present in a relationship, it can cause a cycle of hurt, confusion, and emotional withdrawal, as the partner with ADHD feels overwhelmed by perceived criticism, and their partner struggles to understand why their words hit so hard.

Take Mia and Tom: Mia has ADHD, and despite Tom’s best intentions, she often perceives his casual comments as criticism. One evening, when Tom asks if she remembered to handle an errand, Mia feels instantly flooded with anxiety and hurt, as if Tom were attacking her character. This leaves Tom bewildered, wondering why a simple question caused such an intense reaction.

Let's jump in!

Running a household is a team effort, but when one partner has ADHD, things can get a bit more chaotic.

Consider my clients Lily and Jack: Lily, bursting with creative energy, often dives into new projects, leaving half-finished tasks and scattered tools in her wake. Jack, who loves order, finds himself tidying up and organizing, often feeling frustrated by the clutter.

If this sounds familiar, don’t worry—there are ways to make household organization work, even when ADHD is part of the mix.

With a few simple strategies, couples like Lily and Jack can create a system that brings harmony and keeps their home in order. Let’s explore some ADHD-friendly home organization tips that can transform chaos into calm.

Long-term goals are the backbone of every couple’s big dreams—whether it’s saving for a house, planning a future business, or setting fitness goals.

But when one partner has ADHD, those long-term goals can sometimes feel like elusive dreams.

ADHD can make planning and staying focused challenging, leaving the neurotypical partner feeling like they’re dragging the other along.

However, with the right approach, long-term goals can go from overwhelming to achievable, and even fun!

Let’s dive into how couples can make their dreams work together when one partner has ADHD. From managing procrastination to breaking down goals into bite-sized milestones, we’ll cover practical tips to make long-term planning a success—without the stress.

Navigating the balance between independence and support is a challenge every couple faces, but for neurodiverse couples, this balance is even more crucial.

Take Emily and David, for example.

Emily, who has ADHD, often thrives when she’s given the space to handle things her own way, without too much interference.

David, who is neuro-normative, loves being supportive, but he sometimes struggles to know when to step in and when to step back.

Too much help, and Emily feels stifled; too little, and she feels left on her own. Finding the right balance is key to making their relationship work.

For couples where one or both partners are neurodiverse, whether they have ADHD, autism, or other cognitive differences, finding harmony between giving support and respecting independence can be tricky.

But with clear communication and a few well-timed strategies, this balance can lead to a thriving, happy relationship. Let’s dive into how you can work together to ensure both partners feel empowered and supported.

Meet Alex and Sarah. Alex has ADHD, and while he’s spontaneous, energetic, and full of life, his quirks often leave Sarah feeling like she’s living with a lovable tornado.

From missed appointments to unfinished projects, ADHD-related behaviors—like forgetfulness, inattention, and impulsivity—can test even the strongest relationships.

But here’s the good news: ADHD doesn’t have to be a deal-breaker.

With patience, humor, and the right strategies, couples like Alex and Sarah can turn these challenges into opportunities for growth and deeper connection.

In this post, we’ll explore the most common relationship hurdles when one partner has ADHD and offer practical tips for navigating them. By understanding how ADHD affects daily life and embracing tools that support both partners, couples can foster a relationship that thrives, quirks and all.

Mike has ADHD, and his wife, Tori, is neurotypical. They’ve been married for eight years, but one recurring struggle is communication.

James tends to interrupt her mid-sentence without realizing it, while Tori often feels like she’s talking to a wall when Mike zones out.

They both love each other, but finding effective communication strategies has always been a challenge.

In neurodiverse relationships, where one or both partners have conditions like ADHD, autism, or sensory processing disorder (SPD), communication can feel like navigating two different worlds.

Neurodiverse partners process information, express emotions, and engage with their environment differently than their neuro-normative partners, often leading to misunderstandings.

However, with the right strategies, couples can bridge these communication gaps, enhancing mutual understanding and strengthening their bond.

Kathy and Steve are a neurodiverse couple. Kathy is neurotypical, while Steve is on the autism spectrum. Though they share a deep bond, they sometimes struggle with one of the more complicated aspects of their relationship: managing Steve’s’s sensory sensitivities and emotional regulation challenges.

One evening, after a long day, Kahy suggests going to a favorite restaurant. But the moment they step inside, Steve becomes visibly agitated by the loud music, crowded tables, and fluorescent lighting.

His sensory overload triggers a wave of irritability, making it hard for him to communicate, let alone enjoy the evening. For Kathy, these moments can feel bewildering.

In neurodiverse relationships, particularly where one partner has autism, ADHD, or sensory processing disorder (SPD), sensory overload and emotional dysregulation can significantly impact the relationship.

These moments can turn a simple outing into a source of stress if not managed with care. Fortunately, with empathy, practical strategies, and clear communication, couples can navigate these challenges and even strengthen their bond.