Welcome to my Blog

Thank you for stopping by. This space is where I share research, reflections, and practical tools drawn from my experience as a marriage and family therapist.

Are you a couple looking for clarity? A professional curious about the science of relationships? Or simply someone interested in how love and resilience work? I’m glad you’ve found your way here. I can help with that.

Each post is written with one goal in mind: to help you better understand yourself, your partner, and the hidden dynamics that shape human connection.

Grab a coffee (or a notebook), explore what speaks to you, and take what’s useful back into your life and relationships. And if a post sparks a question, or makes you realize you could use more support, I’d love to hear from you.

Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.
~Daniel

P.S.

Feel free to explore the categories below to find past blog posts on the topics that matter most to you. If you’re curious about attachment, navigating conflict, or strengthening intimacy, these archives are a great way to dive deeper into the research and insights that I’ve been sharing for years.

 

Neurodiverse Couples Daniel Dashnaw Neurodiverse Couples Daniel Dashnaw

ADHD and Boredom: Why Your Brain Craves Stimulation


People with ADHD are more prone to boredom because of attention and working memory challenges. Here’s what new research reveals—and what helps.

A new study in the Journal of Attention Disorders confirms what most people with ADHD could tell you without a grant: boredom hits harder and more often.

Young adults with ADHD traits scored nearly two standard deviations higher in boredom proneness than their peers (Orban, Blessing, Sandone, Conness, & Santer, 2024).

The underlying issue is executive function—the set of mental tools that help us pay attention, hold information in mind, and finish what we start. When those systems misfire, even mildly dull tasks feel unbearable.

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Daniel Dashnaw Daniel Dashnaw

Romantic AI Is Surprisingly Common—And It May Be Hurting Mental Health

AI isn’t just in your workplace—it’s also in your love life.

A new study in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that a surprising number of Americans are experimenting with AI-generated romance.

Young men, in particular, are chatting with AI “partners,” following AI-generated accounts, and consuming AI porn.

And the more people use these tools, the more likely they are to report depression and lower life satisfaction.

Romantic AI isn’t fringe anymore. Nearly one in five adults have tried an AI “romantic partner,” and over a quarter of young adults have done so (Willoughby et al., 2025).

Even more striking, people in committed relationships are more likely than singles to engage with romantic AI.

This lines up with research on parasocial relationships—the one-way emotional bonds we form with media figures, now upgraded to chatbots that never roll their eyes.

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Daniel Dashnaw Daniel Dashnaw

What Makes Women Trust a Partner? It’s Not “I Love You,” Study Finds

We’ve all heard it: “Actions speak louder than words.”

A new study in Evolutionary Psychological Science suggests that this old line still carries weight—especially for women (Shu & Zeng, 2025).

Men, it turns out, are more likely to be moved by words like “I love you” or “I miss you.”

Women, by contrast, put more stock in sweet actions—those everyday gestures like making a meal, running an errand, or quietly folding the laundry without being asked.

Why? Because actions say you’re dependable in a way words alone can’t.

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Marriage 3.0: Why Couples Are Reinventing Love in the Age of Dual Individualism

Remember when the pinnacle of modern romance was the “power couple”? Matching blazers, networking at charity galas, curated Instagram smiles. That era is quietly fading.

Welcome to Marriage 3.0, where the new status symbol isn’t a joint brand—it’s Dual Individualism: two people with distinct public personas and passions, yet a private life that’s intimate, steady, and surprisingly supportive.

What Is Dual Individualism?

Dual individualism is the exact opposite of enmeshment.

It’s not two halves making a whole—it’s two wholes choosing to coexist without diluting themselves.

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Attachment Issues Daniel Dashnaw Attachment Issues Daniel Dashnaw

Spiritual Struggles and Mental Health: Can Belief in Miracles Protect Us?

Many folks have a story about a miracle.

A cancer scan that comes back clear. A loved one surviving an accident against all odds. Or simply making it through a season of life that seemed impossible.

But what does believing in miracles actually do for our mental health?

A new study in Mental Health, Religion & Culture offers an intriguing answer: sometimes, belief in miracles can buffer against depression—but not for everyone, and not in the same way.

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Couples Therapy Daniel Dashnaw Couples Therapy Daniel Dashnaw

What to Expect in Your First Couples Therapy Session (A Therapist Explains)

So you’ve booked your first couples therapy session.

Congratulations—you’ve just done one of the bravest and most grown-up things a couple can do (right up there with signing a joint Costco membership).

Now, naturally, you’re panicking. What actually happens when you walk into that office—or click that Zoom link? Will it be like marriage court with a referee in sensible shoes?

Will the therapist crown a winner? probably not.

Couples therapy isn’t a punishment. It’s more like a lab. A slightly awkward lab where the experiment is your relationship, and the scientist is taking notes on how you argue about loading the dishwasher.

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Separation & Divorce Daniel Dashnaw Separation & Divorce Daniel Dashnaw

Divorce Month: Why January Becomes the Season of Separation

The holidays are over. The decorations sag, the bills arrive, and many couples quietly decide: this marriage has run its course.

Welcome to January—often called Divorce Month.

Every year, family lawyers and financial advisors see a surge in inquiries once the calendar flips.

Barron’s reports that advisors are often the first stop—sometimes even before lawyers—because divorce is as much about money as it is about emotion (Barron’s Advisor, 2025).

Why January?

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Bed Rotting: The History, Meaning, and Why We’re Scrolling Instead of Having Sex

“Bed rotting” isn’t just a meme—it’s a cultural mirror.

Officially defined in February 2024 by Dictionary.com as “the practice of spending many hours in bed during the day, often with snacks or an electronic device, as a voluntary retreat from activity or stress.

The phrase has taken off across TikTok, Instagram, and every group chat where someone admits:

I haven’t left my bed in 14 hours.

At its core, bed rotting is about withdrawal. But whether it’s withdrawal for self-care or avoidance is the ongoing debate.

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The Great American Sex Recession: Why Intimacy Is Declining in Marriage and Dating

Most people imagine the collapse of desire as something loud—affairs, slammed doors, maybe someone weeping dramatically in the driveway.

But the real story is quieter. Millions of Americans are simply… not doing it. Welcome to the sex recession, where intimacy has oddly gone missing, and no one seems to know quite how to find it again.

How Bad Is the “Sex Recession”?

The Institute for Family Studies reports that only 37% of adults aged 18–64 were having sex weekly in 2024. In 1990, it was 55%. If this were Wall Street, we’d call it a bear market in desire.

Among young adults, the story is worse: 24% of those aged 18–29 said they hadn’t had sex at all in the past year—double the rate from 2010. That’s less a dry spell than a dust bowl.

And this is not just a young person’s issue. Married couples, cohabiting partners, and middle-aged professionals all report declines. The drought is as democratic as it is dramatic.

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Marriage and Mental Health Daniel Dashnaw Marriage and Mental Health Daniel Dashnaw

Postpartum Mood Disorders at 5 Months: Beyond Depression, Anxiety, and Brain Fog

Everyone warns you about postpartum depression.

What no one tells you? The hard part might blindside you at five months—long after the casseroles have stopped coming, when the world assumes you’re “back to normal,” but your brain feels like soup.

The truth is, postpartum mental health isn’t just about depression.

It’s a wide spectrum: postpartum anxiety, postpartum OCD, postpartum bipolar disorder, postpartum PTSD, and the dreaded postpartum brain fog—sometimes worsened by thyroid or iron problems.

Let’s walk through why five months postpartum can feel like a perfect storm, and what that really means for mothers.

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The Strategic Partnership Questionnaire


Most couples start out with romance, adventure, and maybe a suspicious number of tapas dates.

But sooner or later, love moves from fireworks to spreadsheets—whether that means managing bills, blending families, or just figuring out who actually remembered to buy toothpaste.

This is where relationships shift into something bigger: a strategic partnership.

Not in the soulless corporate sense, but in the “we’re building a life together, and we need systems that don’t collapse under the weight of laundry” sense.

The good news?

Research shows that thriving couples look less like fairytale romances and more like resilient organizations.

They have shared vision, fair division of labor, healthy repair after conflict, and clear future planning (Gottman & Silver, 2015; Karney & Bradbury, 2020; Rusbult, 1980).

The even better news? You don’t need a Harvard MBA to get there. You just need a little structure—and maybe this something like this modest little questionnaire.

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Is Strategic Partnership Marriage The Future of Love?

Marriage has never stood still. Once, it was about livestock, land, and alliances.

Then came the companionate marriage of the early 20th century—partnerships built on friendship and shared domestic roles.

By the mid-20th century, we wanted “expressive marriage”—our spouse should be our best friend and the main source of personal fulfillment.

Finally came the soulmate era, where your partner was expected to be lover, therapist, co-parent, life coach, and eternal roommate.

It was a beautiful fantasy. It was also quite impossible.

The soulmate model promised everything and delivered little more than a sense of ongoing disquietude.

Now, a quieter model is emerging—the strategic partnership marriage.

It’s less about destiny and more about design. Less about waiting for romance to carry the load, more about building a system that keeps love alive in a world of relentless distraction.

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