Welcome to my Blog

Thank you for stopping by. This space is where I share research, reflections, and practical tools drawn from my experience as a marriage and family therapist.

Are you a couple looking for clarity? A professional curious about the science of relationships? Or simply someone interested in how love and resilience work? I’m glad you’ve found your way here. I can help with that.

Each post is written with one goal in mind: to help you better understand yourself, your partner, and the hidden dynamics that shape human connection.

Grab a coffee (or a notebook), explore what speaks to you, and take what’s useful back into your life and relationships. And if a post sparks a question, or makes you realize you could use more support, I’d love to hear from you.

Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.
~Daniel

P.S.

Feel free to explore the categories below to find past blog posts on the topics that matter most to you. If you’re curious about attachment, navigating conflict, or strengthening intimacy, these archives are a great way to dive deeper into the research and insights that I’ve been sharing for years.

 

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Why narcissists struggle to keep friends (Hint: it’s not just about ego)

Narcissists often make friends quickly, but keeping them? That's a different story. They often lack emotional intelligence, a critical quality for long-term friendship.

But why don’t these positive first impressions become lasting bonds?

At first glance, narcissists are incredibly attractive to others.

Their self-assurance and showmanship draw people in like moths to a flame.

But sustaining those friendships becomes a challenge once the initial charm wears off. But Why?

Because emotional intelligence, not just charisma, is key to long-lasting relationships.

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Why fun activities often leave us craving more: the distraction trap

During activities meant to bring pleasure, distractions like phones, anxious thoughts, or simple mind wandering can divert our focus.

This lack of attention means we don't derive the expected pleasure from these experiences, leaving us craving more.

This cycle can lead to behaviors like overeating, excessive gaming, or endless traveling without truly enjoying the moments.

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5 ways to spot a Christian narcissist: When piety and ego collide

In a world where virtues like humility and love are extolled, it seems paradoxical that narcissism could find a foothold within Christianity.

Yet, the phenomenon of Christian narcissism exists, blending self-righteousness with an inflated sense of importance.

Here’s a field guide to spotting a Christian narcissist, all while keeping your sense of humor intact.

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What is the NARBO Model?

Treating folks with narcissistic traits can be challenging due to their resistance to acknowledging their issues and their tendency to manipulate or blame others.

The NARBO model can aid clinicians in maintaining a clear framework for understanding these behaviors and developing targeted interventions.

Dr. Ramani Durvasula is a clinical psychologist and a leading expert on narcissism, having extensively studied and written about narcissistic personality disorder and its impact on relationships and individuals.

Her insights can be valuable in understanding the NARBO model components and their clinical application.

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Stress bragging: Why flaunting your stress is the new office faux pas

Stress talk is an emerging workplace habit — but why do people do it and what is the effect?

When people ‘brag’ about how much stress they are under, they do it because they think it makes them look better to co-workers and others. This is but another emerging manifestation of Cultural Narcissism.

However, a study finds that ‘stress bragging’, as the researchers term it, only serves to make braggarts seem less competent and less likable.

Worse, stress bragging makes the braggart’s colleagues and those around them feel more stressed and burnt out.

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Breadcrumbing in Relationships

Breadcrumbing in relationships is when one partner gives the other small, sporadic, and often insincere signals of interest, stringing them along without any intention of pursuing a serious or committed relationship.

This frustrating behavior can leave folks feeling confused, undervalued, and emotionally exhausted.

Let’s look deeper into the signs and underlying motivations of breadcrumbing and how to address it in science-based couples therapy.

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Am I dating a narcissist? quiz

In today's world, everyone wants a quick way to detect if their significant other is secretly a self-absorbed megalomaniac.

This quiz aims to offer a few good questions with genuine insights to help you navigate the tricky terrain of modern dating.

I've crafted each question to shed light on key narcissistic traits, while also poking a little fun at our collective obsession with diagnosing narcissism.

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10 Lingering signs of narcissistic abuse

Narcissistic abuse can leave deep scars, often manifesting in subtle behaviors and patterns long after the abusive relationship has ended.

Recognizing these signs can be crucial for healing and moving forward. Here are ten lingering signs of narcissistic abuse that many survivors may experience.

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8 questions a narcissist can not answer

When you're dealing with a narcissist, asking certain questions can feel like you're throwing a wrench into the gears of their self-perception machine.

Here are 8 questions that a narcissist simply can't answer honestly.

While this might make for some awkward conversations, it's a fascinating glimpse into the mind of someone who just can't see beyond their own reflection.

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Triangulation and Flying Monkeys

Navigating the narcissistic landscape is like stepping into a surreal circus, where the ringmaster isn't just wearing a top hat but wielding a psychological whip of manipulation and control.

Today, we're diving into the curious and confounding realms of "triangulation and flying monkeys," two terms that sound straight out of a whimsical fairy tale but are, unfortunately, all too real in the landscape of narcissistic abuse.

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What is Flying Monkeys Narcissism?

Flying Monkeys are a concept deeply embedded in the dynamics of narcissistic abuse, as elucidated by thought leaders in the field.

These folks, unwittingly or willingly, become the enforcers of the narcissist's agenda, perpetuating the cycle of abuse.

Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a renowned clinical psychologist and expert in narcissism, describes flying monkeys as "the foot soldiers of the narcissist's army," highlighting their role in carrying out the narcissist's manipulative tactics.

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