Let’s start with a bang—except, apparently, for some women with ADHD, the bang doesn’t always come.

A new study published in The Journal of Sex Research (Jensen-Fogt & Pedersen, 2024) offers compelling evidence that ADHD symptom subtypes—particularly inattentive traits—may be quietly undermining women’s orgasmic consistency during partnered sex.

This is not about libido, trauma, technique, or even partner compatibility.

It’s more about the brain’s tricky wiring when it comes to attention.

And it turns out that the wandering mind, a classic marker of inattentive ADHD, may be the real third wheel in the bedroom.

You’re sipping coffee, thinking about an old friend, and the phone rings—it's them.

You dream about a place you’ve never been and then end up there a year later. You feel someone watching you before you turn around—and you're right.

Coincidence? Imagination? Or something more baked into our wiring?

According to new research published in Psychology of Consciousness: Theory, Research, and Practice (Palsson, 2025), these so-called anomalous experiences—premonitions, déjà vu, out-of-body events—aren’t fringe occurrences.

They’re part of being human, especially for people with a curious trait: subconscious connectedness.

Imagine you’re living in a body wired like a pinball machine—flashing lights, relentless motion, reactive tilt sensors.

That’s ADHD for many adults: a combination of emotional speed, impulsivity, and executive dysfunction. Now add alcohol. For some, it’s used as a numbing agent, a social lubricant, or a momentary off-switch for a brain that never quite powers down.

But a new French study published in the Journal of Psychiatric Research (Luquiens et al., 2025) suggests that this combination—ADHD and alcohol—doesn’t merely fail to soothe. It amplifies suffering.

Alcohol, already notorious for wreaking havoc on mood and cognition, exacts an even steeper toll on quality of life for those with ADHD, particularly those stuck in patterns of emotional suppression and impulsive regulation.

Let’s explore why this interaction is especially toxic, what clinicians can learn from it, and how we might support neurodivergent clients in more adaptive emotion regulation.

What Happens When Autistic Adults Let ChatGPT Sit Inside Their Inner Monologue

Welcome to the Thought Correction Desk

It started innocently enough: a late-night spiral, a familiar intrusive loop, and a casual question typed into a chatbot:
"Why do I always mess things up?"

And lo, the AI responded—not with a snide “well, maybe you do,” but with the gentle cadence of a therapist who’s read Daring Greatly twice and has strong opinions about emotional resilience.

For many neurodivergent folks—especially those who are autistic—this emerging trend has a name: AI-assisted cognitive reappraisal, though most just call it talking to the bot when the brain gets loud.

What the Research Says (And Doesn’t Say)

The classic marriage proposal—public, spontaneous, dramatic—has long been presented as the pinnacle of romantic intimacy.

But for many neurodivergent couples, this model is alienating, overwhelming, and at times, even dysregulating.

The surprise proposal assumes a shared cultural script: one partner plans secretly, the other reacts visibly, and both are judged by how moving the footage turns out on Instagram.

But this ritual relies heavily on emotional spontaneity, sensory tolerance, and social fluency—areas where many neurodivergent partners approach differently.

Ivy and Ben met on Hinge. Or maybe it was Tinder.

Either way, they weren’t looking to dismantle the patriarchy—they were just trying to find someone who wouldn’t ghost after three dates and who had a normal relationship with their mother.

Now five years into marriage, Ivy makes more money, Ben folds the laundry, and they both silently judge couples who use the term “hubby.”

They’re a progressive straight couple. They compost. They communicate. They have a shared Google Calendar called "Us."

But lately, something’s been gnawing at them.

The fights don’t make sense. The chores feel lopsided. The sex is… scheduled. They're not in crisis, just stuck in a version of marriage that feels strangely pre-written.

Ivy jokes that they accidentally bought the deluxe starter pack of heteronormativity at Crate & Barrel.

Enter queer theory—not as a sexual identity, but as a relationship philosophy.

Some couples operate on Greenwich Mean Time. Others on Pacific Standard.

And then there are the ones on Emotional Dial-Up with Seasonal Attachment Drift.

Welcome to chrononormativity collapse—that curious, under-the-radar phenomenon where love doesn’t follow a script. Or a calendar. Or your therapist’s deeply color-coded worksheet.

Chrononormativity, a term coined in queer theory, refers to society’s not-so-subtle pressure to live—and love—on schedule.

Think: date, cohabitate, marry, breed, brunch. It’s the Apple Watch of intimacy: sleek, demanding, and quietly judgmental.

But here in the ruins of pandemic-era solitude, housing market absurdity, and polyamory hangovers, couples are going rogue.

They’re not breaking up—they’re falling off the timeline. And they’re often better for it.

I’d like to discuss why some autistic adults lose speech under stress—and what that silence Is saying

There’s a silence that isn’t peaceful.

It arrives mid-conversation. Mid-meeting. Mid-meltdown.

You reach for words, and they dissolve like sugar in hot water. You know what you mean, but your mouth isn’t returning your calls. You stare. Nod. Maybe write. Maybe blink.

You are not confused.
You are not stupid.

You are nonverbal now—and the world has no idea what to do with that.

Welcome to the under-explored, deeply misunderstood, and surprisingly common phenomenon of preverbal exhaustion in autistic adults.

For decades, stimming—short for self-stimulatory behavior—was something autistic people were taught to suppress. The flapping, the rocking, the finger-flicking, the pacing.

It was pathologized, medicalized, punished, or politely ignored. At best, it was seen as an “inappropriate” coping mechanism. At worst, a symptom to be extinguished.

Then came TikTok.

And suddenly, stimming went viral.

What Is Stimming, and Why Does It Matter?

There’s a mood board quietly taking over your algorithm. It’s soft, low-contrast, possibly pastel, maybe even a little VHS-glitchy.

It loops. It rocks. It never yells.

And it just might smell faintly of lavender essential oil and unfinished tasks.

Welcome to the autism aesthetic: not just a vibe—an act of survival.

This isn’t about stereotypes (no Rain Man cardigans or Big Bang Theory quirk-core).

This is about how autistic people are reshaping digital and sensory spaces to reflect their lived, felt, regulated reality.

And it’s happening with the kind of subtlety that makes neurotypicals scroll by and say, “Huh, that’s calming,” without realizing they’ve just walked into someone else’s nervous system.

Let’s saunter in.

Let’s talk about love, panic, and the tiny mutiny of being yourself.

Falling in love when you're neurodivergent and socially anxious is a bit like trying to waltz with a fire alarm strapped to your chest.

You want closeness—but your body sometimes treats it like an ambush.

You crave connection—but also fear melting into a puddle of misread facial expressions, sensory overload, or an emotional hangover that lasts three business days.

And yet, neurodivergent souls aren't unlovable—they’re just out here trying to find love while running a very different operating system. It's not a dating problem. It's a translation problem.

What’s Actually Happening: When Social Anxiety Meets Neurodivergence

Imagine walking into a room and feeling like every eye is a microscope.

Now add the disorienting static of a sensory system tuned to frequencies others don’t even register. For neurodiverse individuals, social anxiety isn't just fear of judgment—it’s often a physiological storm, a moral performance, and a full-time job of masking.

Managing social anxiety while neurodiverse isn’t about trying to become someone you’re not. It’s about noticing, accommodating, and gently renegotiating the terms of engagement with a world built for different brains.

This post explores what social anxiety looks like in neurodiverse lives—ADHD, autism, giftedness, sensory processing differences—and what science, lived experience, and therapeutic insight say about navigating it.