Ancient Greek philosophers like Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle provided timeless insights into human behavior and relationships.

As a marriage and family therapist, I find their teachings particularly relevant for modern relational dynamics.

These philosophers explored the nature of love, virtue, and the self, offering profound wisdom that can enhance our understanding and practice of love in today's world.

Marriage is often viewed as the ultimate union of two individuals.

However, the strength of this union depends not on the dissolution of individuality but on the healthy balance between independence and togetherness.

Some of my clients have shown me how maintaining emotional independence in marriage can lead to a more fulfilling and resilient relationship.

In this blog post, we’ll explore how independence in marriage goes beyond mere physical space and encompasses freedom from sleepwalking into reactivity, addiction, and self-absorption in an increasingly anxious age.

Marian apparitions, the supernatural appearances of the Virgin Mary, are not only profound religious experiences but also rich sources of inspiration for personal and relational growth for devout Roman Catholic couples.

As a couples therapist, exploring the multifaceted dimensions of these apparitions can provide unique insights into enhancing relationships through faith, communication, and resilience.

Because of my work with a business owner named Charlie, and his lovely accomplished wife Roz, I had an opportunity to co-create such an intervention.

Let’s consider the significance of Marian apparitions, their psychological and relational impacts, and how these themes can be woven into therapeutic practice. with devout Catholics.

Milton H. Erickson, a pioneering figure in the field of psychotherapy, significantly influenced science-based couples therapy with his innovative approaches and techniques.

Renowned for his work in medical hypnosis and family therapy, Erickson’s contributions laid the groundwork for many modern therapeutic practices, particularly in couples therapy.

Navigating intimate relationships can be as thrilling as it is challenging.

Couples therapy can be a fantastic way to untangle the knots of complex issues, fix communication breakdowns, set relationship goals, and ultimately strengthen your bond.

If you’re new to couples counseling, you might be curious about the questions that will pop up during sessions or the ones you should bring to the table.

Here’s a deep dive into some essential and thought-provoking concrete couples counseling questions to get you started.

Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a novel approach to psychotherapy developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz.

This model posits that our psyche comprises various sub-personalities or "parts," each with unique perspectives and roles.

IFS therapy helps folks to harmonize these parts, fostering internal balance and healing.

This process has peaked interest for individual therapy.

It has profound implications for external family systems, as understanding and integrating our internal parts can significantly improve how we relate to others.

A well-trained couples therapist, will delve deeply into the theoretical foundations, techniques, and outcomes associated with different therapeutic models to effectively tailor interventions to the needs of each couple.

In this post, we will explore Gottman Couples Therapy, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), and the Developmental Model of Couples Therapy in detail.

As a couples therapist, the concept of two-person integrity is pivotal in understanding healthy relationships.

It refers to the delicate balance between maintaining one's individuality and being committed to the partnership.

Think of two-person integrity as walking a tightrope while juggling—challenging but essential for a harmonious relationship. This balance is crucial for both personal well-being and the health of the relationship.

Intimacy in 2024. In an era when our phones are smarter than we are and our fridges have Wi-Fi, one might think we've mastered the art of connection.

Alas, no.

I've seen that despite (or perhaps because of) all our technological advances, intimacy remains a delicate dance that many stumble through like toddlers at their first ballet recital.

Here’s my 2 cents on the obstacles to intimacy in 2024.

Every marriage has an inherent tension between the need for independence and the desire for intimacy.

Couples therapists call this delicate balance "differentiation."

Differentiation in marriage is all about personal growth while maintaining a close relationship.

As Ellyn Bader puts it, differentiation is "the active, ongoing process of defining self, expressing and activating self, revealing self, clarifying boundaries, and managing the anxiety that comes from risking either more intimacy or potential separation."

Esther Perel, a renowned psychotherapist and relationship expert, has captured the hearts and minds of many with her insights on love and desire.

One of her most provocative ideas is that "love is not a permanent state of enthusiasm."

While her perspective offers a refreshing departure from the fairy-tale notion of everlasting passion, it is essential to critically examine whether or not this idea may inadvertently capitulate to cultural narcissism.

The best couples therapy dives deep into the human condition, beyond just treating symptoms.

It embraces life's uncertainties and absurdities, encouraging us to face our freedom, isolation, mortality, and quest for meaning.

This journey isn't easy; it demands honesty, courage, and a willingness to truly know oneself.

All in pursuit of reclaiming intimacy in a marriage…