In today’s digital age, the landscape of relationships has been profoundly transformed by technology.

While it offers numerous avenues for connection, it also brings about new challenges that can exacerbate underlying relational anxieties.

One of the most poignant examples of this is the "Avoidant/Anxious Attachment Loop," a meme that has gained significant traction on platforms like Reddit.

This meme reflects a deep-seated anxiety in relationships, particularly as they intersect with modern dating behaviors like ghosting and orbiting.

In our ever-evolving landscape of mental health awareness, the term "attachment trauma" has gained significant traction, particularly on platforms like Reddit.

As an emerging meme, "attachment trauma" encapsulates a range of experiences and symptoms associated with early relational wounds, often resulting from inconsistent or harmful caregiving during childhood.

This term's proliferation on social media reflects a broader cultural shift in how Americans perceive and discuss psychological well-being.

What is Attachment Trauma?

Transference-Focused Psychotherapy (TFP) is an evidence-based treatment specifically designed for folks with personality disorders, particularly Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).

Developed by Dr. Otto Kernberg and his colleagues, TFP is rooted in psychodynamic principles and focuses on the relationship between the patient and the therapist to uncover and understand the patient's internal world and interpersonal dynamics.

So you’re scrolling through Instagram, seeing one perfect relationship post after another.

Happy couples on exotic vacations, surprise gifts, candle-lit dinners.

It’s enough to make anyone wonder if their own relationship measures up.

But what if I told you that these high expectations, fueled by social media and Hollywood fantasies, might be setting us up for disappointment?

Husband and wife psychologists Arthur and Elaine Aron research how close relationships develop.

Previous research has shown that a history of reciprocally exchanging favors leads to the bestowing of additional favors to their exchange partner, no matter who provided the last favor.

In other words, receiving and bestowing favors builds trust, one of the fundamental building blocks of intimacy. Here’s what you need to know…

Kitchen Sinking is a combative strategy where you throw all the complaints you have about your partner in breathless run-on sentences, hoping to overwhelm them by the sheer force of your moral authority.

It’s inherently disrespectful, and it never works…but that doesn’t stop the behavior...

There is no fact of human existence that resonates so profoundly and pervasively through time as Developmental Trauma (aka Complex Trauma).

Developmental Trauma is a pattern of chronic, prolonged childhood abuse and neglect and symptoms of childhood trauma in adulthood impact marriage.

“Giving up your individuality to be together is as defeating in the long run as giving up your relationship to maintain your individuality. Either way, you end up being less of a person with less of a relationship.” Dr. David Schnarch.

Research into attachment style compatibility highlights the most challenging combination for personal relationships, revealing that the Anxious and Avoidant Attachment Styles are the least compatible.

But isn’t this sort of armchair astrology playing God? I strongly condemn the trend of identifying the “worst” attachment style combination…

Social science has cracked the code of intimacy.

It can be accelerated. It is unfortunate that we know how to do this.

Because with this knowledge, technology, capital, and social science will continue to build a myriad of platforms to monetize opportunities for being vulnerable and receiving validation (and titillation) from perfect strangers…

Heidi Keller's critique of Attachment Theory, as detailed in her 2022 book "The Myth of Attachment Theory," offers a scientifically sound contrarian analysis that delves deep into the cultural and contextual factors influencing attachment patterns.

In this post, I will explore a few concepts from Keller's book and their implications for the practice of couples therapy…

The Solomon Asch conformity experiments stand as a testament to the powerful influence of social dynamics on individual behavior.

Renowned psychologist Solomon Asch conducted a series of experiments to explore how the behavior of those around them shapes people's opinions.

What did he find?