“Giving up your individuality to be together is as defeating in the long run as giving up your relationship to maintain your individuality. Either way, you end up being less of a person with less of a relationship.” Dr. David Schnarch.

Research into attachment style compatibility highlights the most challenging combination for personal relationships, revealing that the Anxious and Avoidant Attachment Styles are the least compatible.

But isn’t this sort of armchair astrology playing God? I strongly condemn the trend of identifying the “worst” attachment style combination…

Social science has cracked the code of intimacy.

It can be accelerated. It is unfortunate that we know how to do this.

Because with this knowledge, technology, capital, and social science will continue to build a myriad of platforms to monetize opportunities for being vulnerable and receiving validation (and titillation) from perfect strangers…

Heidi Keller's critique of Attachment Theory, as detailed in her 2022 book "The Myth of Attachment Theory," offers a scientifically sound contrarian analysis that delves deep into the cultural and contextual factors influencing attachment patterns.

In this post, I will explore a few concepts from Keller's book and their implications for the practice of couples therapy…

The Solomon Asch conformity experiments stand as a testament to the powerful influence of social dynamics on individual behavior.

Renowned psychologist Solomon Asch conducted a series of experiments to explore how the behavior of those around them shapes people's opinions.

What did he find?

On the couples therapy couch, I sometimes see the dynamic between a narcissist and someone with borderline personality disorder (BPD).

This can significantly impact their relationship.. and future intimacy for meaningful intimacy for their children….

Let’s discuss the intricacies of this dynamic and how it shapes the familial landscape, drawing insights from a family therapist's perspective...

Understanding the nuances between connection and attachment is pivotal in romantic relationships.

These terms often intermingle, yet they represent distinct aspects of relational dynamics.

Relationship thought leaders and empirical research shed light on the disparity between romantic connection and attachment, unraveling the complexities that underlie successful partnerships…

Material deprivation, a crucial concept in both sociology and economics, refers to the inability of humans or households to afford basic goods and services necessary for an adequate standard of living.

It encompasses various dimensions such as lack of access to adequate housing, nutritious food, healthcare, education, and essential utilities like water and electricity.

This deprivation can severely impact human well-being, opportunities, and overall quality of life…

Attachment theory, pioneered by John Bowlby explains how humans bond.

A pivotal study conducted by Shaffer and Emerson in 1964 in Glasgow offers valuable insights into the stages of infant attachment and how they influence later development.

Over the last 60 years, the findings have been replicated again and again…

Research reveals that approximately 25% of folks exhibit traits of Avoidant Attachment.

However, there's hope for improvement through simple yet effective exercises that foster intimacy.

A groundbreaking study conducted by renowned New York psychologist Professor Arthur Aron uncovered promising results…

Shifting from an insecure Attachment Style to a Secure one is a profound journey that involves intentional reprogramming of the nervous system and a deep understanding of oneself and relational dynamics.

Boyd's OODA loop, a concept originating from military strategy… but widely applied in various fields, including psychology and decision-making, can serve as a useful framework in this process.

The loop consists of four stages: Observe, Orient, Decide, and Act. Let's map these stages onto the intentional journey of shifting your Attachment Style...

In couples therapy, recognizing and addressing cognitive errors associated with each attachment style is paramount for fostering healthy communication and intimacy.

Let's explore the cognitive errors of each attachment style through the lens of a couples therapist, drawing insights from attachment science thought leaders…