Long-Distance Love Across the Great White North: How Canadian Couples Make It Work
Tuesday, October 22, 2024.
Tuesday, October 22, 2024. I’ve benefited and learned from many wonderful clients in Canada. This is the first of a 7 part series.
Maintaining a relationship is hard enough, but when your partner is three provinces away, it’s like trying to cuddle with an electric blanket that only works on one end.
Welcome to the unique joys and challenges of long-distance love in Canada, where the only thing more confusing than the miles between you is figuring out the time zone difference for that virtual date.
The Challenges is Distance.
Canada is enormous—so massive that if you live in Vancouver and your partner is in Halifax, you might as well be dating someone in Europe.
This geographic reality has shaped many Canadian love stories, creating unique challenges that come with being separated by thousands of kilometers.
According to Stafford (2010), long-distance relationships often struggle with maintaining intimacy and managing time differences. Communication is key, but it can feel like you're operating on different schedules when one person’s ready for bed and the other is just finishing their afternoon coffee.
But it’s not just the time zones—it's the sheer difficulty of visiting each other regularly. Many couples face the reality of long, expensive flights, or, for those in more remote areas, seasonal road closures. This distance can make it tough to maintain a sense of shared daily life, as you find yourselves missing out on the little things, like enjoying a snowy Saturday morning or watching the autumn leaves change together.
The Impact of Remote Work
The pandemic-era rise of remote work brought new opportunities—and challenges—to long-distance relationships.
Suddenly, where you lived didn’t have to be dictated by a job. Some couples have used this to split their time between urban centers and quieter, more rural regions.
But while the ability to work from anywhere can bring flexibility, it can also strain relationships when one partner dreams of city skylines and the other prefers starlit nights on a lake.
A study by Matejskova and Leitner (2011) found that negotiating place-based identities is critical for couples who live in different types of communities. It’s about finding a balance between the lifestyle each partner loves, and, sometimes, making sacrifices—like learning to love video calls when you’d rather be sharing a craft beer in person.
Canadian Thought Leaders on Long-Distance Relationships
Canadian psychologists like Dr. Sue Johnson, creator of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), emphasize the importance of maintaining emotional connection, even from afar. Dr. Johnson's work on attachment theory underscores how small gestures—like texting goodnight or sending surprise gifts—can help sustain a sense of emotional closeness, even when physical distance is a factor (Johnson, 2019).
Another sorta Canadian, Dr. John Gottman (although based in the U.S., he has roots in Canada's research circles), highlights the significance of turning toward each other in small moments.
Whether it's a quick call or a photo of a sunset shared between time zones, these small acts of connection keep the emotional bond alive, making the distance feel a little less vast.
Tips for Staying Connected
Plan Frequent Visits: Yes, plane tickets are pricey, but there’s no substitute for real, in-person connection. Just be ready for some epic weather delays—it's Canada, after all.
Get Creative with Virtual Dates: Try cooking the same recipe together over a video call or exploring virtual museums. It's not quite the same as strolling through Stanley Park, but it keeps the connection alive.
Accept the Time Zone Differences: That 7 AM video call might feel brutal, but making time for each other is worth the effort. Besides, you’ll have a built-in excuse for those early-morning bedhead chats.
Stay Present in Each Other’s Lives: Share photos, memes, or that funny story about your neighbor’s dog. It keeps you part of each other’s day-to-day, even when you’re miles apart.
Love Knows No Distance (But It Helps to Have a Good Wi-Fi Connection)
Long-distance relationships might be a bit of a rollercoaster, but when they work, they’re a testament to resilience, creativity, and, yes, a little bit of Canadian toughness. After all, who else could thrive in a love story that spans from the Rockies to the Maritimes?
Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.
REFERENCES:
Johnson, S. (2019). Attachment theory in practice: Emotionally focused therapy (EFT) with individuals, couples, and families. Guilford Press.
Matejskova, T., & Leitner, H. (2011). Urban encounters with rurality: Negotiating place-based identities in love and life. Cultural Geographies, 18(1), 59-81.
Stafford, L. (2010). Geographic separation and relationships. Journal of Communication, 60(1), 103-125.