7 Ways you’ll know when the Honeymoon Phase is wearing off…
Wednesday, May 15, 2024. Revised and updated.
Ah, the honeymoon phase—those early days of a relationship when everything feels new and exciting.
But what happens when the honeymoon phase wears off? How can you tell, and what can you do about it?
Research suggests that this phase typically lasts between 12 to 30 months, with some couples experiencing it for as little as 6 to 9 months, especially those craving novelty.
In the beginning, everything is a thrill. You're uncovering each other's quirks and passions, and every moment together feels like an adventure.
But as time goes on, the initial spark gives way to a more settled routine.
This transition can be confusing, leading some to mistake the calm for boredom, thinking that the initial fireworks were meant to last forever.
The truth is, the mystery fades, and you start noticing things—like their love for Hip-Hop (which you can't stand) or their quirky drunk laugh—that weren't as apparent before.
Here are seven signs that the honeymoon phase is over:
Your First Fight: The initial bliss gives way to disagreements and conflicts. This is a natural progression as you both reveal more of your true selves. The key is to learn from these conflicts and use them to strengthen your relationship, rather than letting them drive you apart.
Relying On Each Other: As the relationship matures, you start relying on each other for emotional support and companionship. This is a sign of a healthy relationship, but it also means you need to be mindful of each other's needs and communicate openly about them.
Building Trust and Commitment: Trust is built over time through shared experiences and mutual respect. It's important to continue nurturing this trust by being honest and reliable in your actions.
Other Things and People Matter: While it's important to maintain a strong bond with your partner, it's also healthy to have interests and relationships outside of the relationship. This can help prevent co-dependency and allow each partner to grow as individuals.
Giving and Taking Freely: In a mature relationship, both partners are willing to compromise and make sacrifices for the greater good of the relationship. This doesn't mean giving up your individuality, but rather finding a balance that works for both of you.
Negotiating Firm Boundaries: As the relationship evolves, it's important to establish boundaries to protect the relationship from outside influences. This can include setting limits on how much time you spend with friends or family, or agreeing on what is and isn't acceptable behavior in the relationship.
Trying New Things Together: Keeping the relationship exciting and fresh is key to overcoming the end of the honeymoon phase. Trying new things together can reignite the spark and remind you both why you fell in love in the first place.
In conclusion, the end of the honeymoon phase is a natural progression in any relationship. It's a sign that your relationship is maturing and evolving. By recognizing these signs and taking proactive steps to nurture your relationship, you can ensure that your love continues to grow stronger with each passing day.
When the honeymoon phase wears off… expand into playful novelty
One of the fascinating aspects of this research is the notion of personal expansion. When we fall in love, our sense of self expands.
The researchers claim that when personal “expansion” inevitably slows to a crawl or disappears entirely, the excitement fades.
Once boredom sets in, the “fun deficit” may be blamed on the relationship, perhaps becoming a shared narrative for the noticeable drop in relationship satisfaction.
Recent research also suggests that playfulness is highly attractive when the honeymoon phase wears off.
Couples therapy may help when it focuses on helping the couple to more carefully define what personal expansion means and which specific activities will kick-start the personal expansion process once more.
Do you want to kick start your marriage once more?
RESEARCH:
This study was published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology (Aron et al., 2000).
