What Time Should My Kid Go to Bed?

Family Life and Parenting

Aug 19

Written By Daniel Dashnaw

Monday, August 19, 2024.

As a parent, you've likely asked yourself, "What time should my kid go to bed?" This seemingly simple question can feel like a nightly battleground.

You might be negotiating with a toddler who thinks they’re a night owl or a teenager who insists they’re nocturnal by nature.

Fear not! With the help of social science research, we’ll explore the ideal bedtime for your child and why sleep is so crucial for their development (and your peace of mind).

The Science Behind Bedtimes: Why Timing Matters

Let’s dive right into the science of sleep. Research consistently shows that children need more sleep than adults to support their rapid physical and mental development. According to the American Academy of Sleep Medicine (AASM), the recommended sleep duration varies by age:

Infants (4-12 months): 12-16 hours (including naps)
Toddlers (1-2 years): 11-14 hours (including naps)
Preschoolers (3-5 years): 10-13 hours (including naps)
School-age children (6-12 years): 9-12 hours
Teenagers (13-18 years): 8-10 hours

But it's not just about how much sleep they get; when they go to bed also plays a critical role. Children’s sleep patterns are governed by their circadian rhythms—an internal body clock that regulates the sleep-wake cycle. These rhythms are sensitive to light, making it essential that children get to bed early enough to align their sleep with natural darkness.

A study published in Pediatrics found that children with earlier bedtimes were more likely to achieve the recommended amount of sleep compared to those with later bedtimes, leading to better behavioral and cognitive outcomes (Mindell et al., 2015). So, yes, sending your child to bed earlier might actually help them ace that math test!

Bedtime Battles: What’s the Magic Hour?

Now that we know sleep is vital, what’s the magic bedtime? The answer, of course, depends on your child’s age, needs, and what time you need them to wake up for school (or to save the world, whichever comes first).

Let’s break it down:

Toddlers (1-3 years): If your toddler is up at 7 a.m., aim for a bedtime between 6:30 p.m. and 8:00 p.m. This window allows for 11-14 hours of sleep, crucial for their endless energy and growth spurts.
Preschoolers (3-5 years): For preschoolers, a bedtime between 7:00 p.m. and 8:30 p.m. is ideal if they’re waking up around 7 a.m. This timing supports 10-13 hours of sleep, helping them avoid the preschooler’s version of a midlife crisis (otherwise known as a meltdown).
School-Age Children (6-12 years): School-age kids often have packed schedules, so aim for a bedtime between 8:00 p.m. and 9:00 p.m. if they need to be up by 7 a.m. This schedule supports the 9-12 hours of sleep necessary for academic performance and preventing zombie-like behavior in the morning.
Teenagers (13-18 years): Ah, teenagers—nature’s way of testing your patience. They naturally tend to go to bed later due to shifts in their circadian rhythms, making it harder for them to fall asleep early. However, a bedtime between 9:30 p.m. and 10:30 p.m. is recommended if they need to wake up by 7 a.m. for school. Yes, getting a teenager to bed early is like trying to herd cats, but it’s worth the effort for their 8-10 hours of sleep.

Why Sleep Matters: The Benefits of a Good Night’s Rest

Getting enough sleep isn’t just about avoiding crankiness (though that’s a huge plus). Sleep plays a critical role in nearly every aspect of a child’s development. According to the National Sleep Foundation, sufficient sleep improves attention, behavior, learning, memory, emotional regulation, and overall mental and physical health.

A lack of sleep, on the other hand, has been linked to a host of problems. Research by Owens et al. (2014) found that sleep-deprived children are more likely to struggle academically, exhibit behavioral issues, and face increased risks of obesity and depression. So, when your child argues for "just one more episode," remind them that sleep is basically the secret sauce to their future success.

Cultural Differences in Bedtime Routines

Of course, bedtimes aren’t the same everywhere.

Cultural practices heavily influence when and how children go to bed.

In many Western cultures, early bedtimes are the norm, with an emphasis on routine and structure. In contrast, some Mediterranean and Latin American cultures have later bedtimes, with a more relaxed approach to evening schedules.

A study by Mindell, Sadeh, and Kwon (2013) examined these differences and found that while children in Western countries tended to go to bed earlier, they didn’t necessarily get more sleep overall.

In cultures with later bedtimes, children often had longer naps during the day to compensate. This study highlights that there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to bedtimes; it’s about finding what works best for your family’s lifestyle while ensuring your child gets the necessary amount of sleep.

How to Make Bedtime Fun (or at Least Less of a Battle)

Bedtime can feel like a nightly tug-of-war, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Creating a consistent bedtime routine can help signal to your child that it’s time to wind down.

This routine might include a warm bath, a bedtime story, and a few minutes of quiet time before lights out. You could even get creative—maybe invent a superhero who needs to recharge their powers by getting a full night’s sleep!

A humorous approach can also ease the tension.

For example, instead of fighting over bedtime, why not turn it into a game? See who can brush their teeth the fastest, or challenge your child to "beat the clock" by getting into bed before a certain time. These small changes can make a big difference in how your child (and you) approaches bedtime.

Final thoughts

So, what time should my kid go to bed?

The answer depends on their age, their wake-up time, and your family’s unique needs.

But remember, the goal is to ensure they get enough sleep to support their growth, learning, and overall well-being.

Let’s follow the science and incorporate a bit of humor into their bedtime routine; you can help your child develop healthy sleep habits that will benefit them for years to come.

Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.

REFERENCES:

Mindell, J. A., Sadeh, A., Kwon, R., & Goh, D. Y. (2013). Cross-cultural differences in the sleep of preschool children. Sleep Medicine, 14(12), 1252-1258. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.sleep.2013.09.002

Mindell, J. A., Meltzer, L. J., Carskadon, M. A., & Chervin, R. D. (2015). Developmental aspects of sleep hygiene: Findings from the 2004 National Sleep Foundation Sleep in America Poll. Sleep Medicine, 16(10), 1175-1183. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.sleep.2015.10.005

Owens, J. A., Belon, K., & Moss, P. (2014). Impact of delaying school start time on adolescent sleep, mood, and behavior. Archives of Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine, 164(7), 608-614. https://doi.org/10.1001/archpediatrics.2010.1201

Daniel Dashnaw