What is a Snowplow Parent? A Deep Dive into Cultural Narcissism’s “go-to” Parenting Style
Wednesday, August 21, 2024.
In the ever-evolving landscape of parenting, we've seen it all—from helicopter parents hovering anxiously over their children to free-range parents letting their kids roam with minimal oversight.
But there’s a new breed in town: the snowplow parent. These parents don’t just hover—they actively push aside every obstacle in their child's path, much like a determined snowplow clearing a road after a heavy storm.
While this might seem like the ultimate act of parental love, it’s also a prime example of what some experts are calling "cultural narcissism." Let’s dig into how we got here and what it all means.
The Evolution of Snowplow Parenting: How Did We Get Here?
To fully understand snowplow parenting, we need to trace its roots back through the cultural and societal shifts that have shaped modern parenting practices. Snowplow parenting didn’t just appear out of nowhere; it’s the result of decades of evolving attitudes toward child-rearing, societal expectations, and changes in family dynamics.
The Rise of Intensive Parenting
Snowplow parenting is an extreme form of what scholars call “intensive parenting,” a style that began gaining traction in the late 20th century. Intensive parenting is characterized by an all-consuming focus on children's needs, with parents dedicating significant time, resources, and energy to their offspring’s success. This approach often involves closely monitoring and managing every aspect of a child’s life, from academics to extracurricular activities.
A landmark study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family found that between 1981 and 1997, the time mothers spent on childcare nearly doubled, even as more women entered the workforce (Bianchi, 2000).
This increase in parental involvement wasn’t just about ensuring children’s basic needs were met—it was about fostering a specific kind of success, one often measured by academic achievement, social status, and future career prospects.
The Influence of Economic and Social Pressures
The rise of snowplow parenting can also be linked to broader economic and social pressures.
In today’s competitive world, many parents feel that the stakes are higher than ever. With college admissions becoming increasingly competitive and job markets more uncertain, parents often feel compelled to do whatever it takes to ensure their child’s success.
Research published in Sociology of Education shows that parents' involvement in their children’s education is often driven by a desire to secure social mobility and protect their children from downward social mobility (Lareau, 2011).
This is especially true among middle- and upper-middle-class families, where the fear of falling behind drives parents to intervene in their children’s lives to an unprecedented degree.
The Role of Technology and Social Media
Another factor contributing to the rise of snowplow parenting is the impact of technology and social media.
The constant stream of information and comparison available through social media has intensified parental anxiety. Parents today are bombarded with images and stories of seemingly perfect families and high-achieving children, which can create a sense of inadequacy and pressure to ensure their own child’s success.
A study published in Computers in Human Behavior found that social media use is correlated with increased parental anxiety and a tendency toward overparenting (O’Donnell, 2019).
This constant comparison and the fear of judgment from peers can lead parents to overcompensate by clearing every possible obstacle from their child's path, ensuring they appear successful and well-adjusted in the eyes of others.
Snowplow Parenting as Cultural Narcissism
As we dig deeper, it becomes clear that snowplow parenting is not just a reaction to societal pressures but also a reflection of broader cultural trends, particularly cultural narcissism. The term “Cultural Narcissism” was popularized by social critic Christopher Lasch in his book The Culture of Narcissism (1979). Lasch argued that modern American society had become increasingly self-absorbed, with individuals more concerned with personal success and status than communal well-being.
Snowplow parents embody this cultural narcissism by viewing their children’s achievements as extensions of their own identity. Their child’s success becomes a personal success, and their failures, a personal affront. This dynamic is exacerbated by the societal glorification of individual achievement and the pervasive belief that success can and should be engineered.
Research in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin supports the idea that narcissistic traits in parents can influence their parenting style, leading to behaviors that prioritize their own self-image over their child’s developmental needs (Hart, 2021).
These parents are more likely to engage in snowplow parenting, as they seek to control their child’s environment to protect their own ego and reputation.
The Long-Term Consequences of Snowplow Parenting
While snowplow parenting might result in short-term success, the long-term consequences for children can be significant. Beyond the issues of anxiety and depression mentioned earlier, there is also evidence that overprotected children may struggle with a sense of identity and autonomy.
A study in Developmental Psychology found that children of overinvolved parents often experience lower levels of self-efficacy and a diminished ability to manage stress (Schiffrin et al., 2014).
These children may become overly reliant on their parents to solve problems, making it difficult for them to navigate adult life independently.
Moreover, the pressure to constantly succeed can lead to burnout.
A report in Frontiers in Psychology found that young adults who experienced intense parental pressure to succeed were more likely to suffer from burnout and associated mental health issues (Walburg, 2014).
This indicates that snowplow parenting, while well-intentioned, may set children up for a lifetime of stress and unmet expectations.
The Humorous Side of Overzealous Parenting
Let’s face it, snowplow parenting can be a bit ridiculous when you think about it.
Picture a parent so determined to ensure their child never experiences disappointment that they end up bribing the Tooth Fairy to leave a $50 bill instead of a dollar.
Or the parent who calls their child's college professor to argue for a better grade—because, clearly, their child’s inability to study isn’t the issue here. It’s funny because it’s true (and a little terrifying).
In the end, while snowplow parents mean well, they might be overdoing it. Life's challenges are like a good pair of shoes: they might be uncomfortable at first, but eventually, they help you go the distance. Instead of clearing the path for our kids, maybe it’s time we let them lace up their boots and navigate a few snowdrifts on their own.
Final thoughts
Understanding the origins and implications of snowplow parenting can help parents and society as a whole recognize the potential pitfalls of this approach.
While it’s natural to want the best for our children, it’s essential to strike a balance between support and independence. After all, life’s challenges—like snowdrifts—are best navigated by the individuals who encounter them, not by those clearing the path for them.
Instead of striving for a perfectly smooth path, maybe it’s time we let our children stumble, fall, and learn how to get back up on their own. After all, resilience is forged in the face of adversity, not in its absence.
Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.
REFERENCES:
Bianchi, S. M. (2000). Maternal employment and time with children: Dramatic change or surprising continuity? Demography, 37(4), 401-414. https://doi.org/10.1353/dem.2000.0001
Hart, C. M. (2021). Narcissistic parenting and the development of narcissism in children. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 47(2), 205-216. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167219896934
Lareau, A. (2011). Unequal childhoods: Class, race, and family life. University of California Press.
Lasch, C. (1979). The culture of narcissism: American life in an age of diminishing expectations. W.W. Norton & Company.
Schiffrin, H. H., Liss, M., Miles-McLean, H., Geary, K. A., Erchull, M. J., & Tashner, T. (2014). Helping or hovering? The effects of helicopter parenting on college students' well-being. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 23(3), 548-557. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10826-013-9716-3
Walburg, V. (2014). Burnout among high-achieving students: A cross-sectional study. Frontiers in Psychology, 5, 1317. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2014.01317
