Weekly check-in questions for couples
Wednesday, July 17, 2024.
Love isn't just about finding the perfect partner and living happily ever after.
It requires effort, communication, and a willingness to address issues before they escalate. One effective way to maintain a strong and healthy relationship is by conducting regular weekly check-ins with your partner.
Weekly Check-Ins: The Key to a Strong Relationship
John Gottman, a well-known relationship expert and founder of the Gottman Institute, advocates for the importance of regular relationship check-ins. Research indicates that couples who spend quality time together experience lower stress levels and greater happiness. These regular meetings provide a platform for partners to express their feelings, desires, and concerns, which is crucial for maintaining a thriving relationship.
Why Weekly Check-Ins Work
While the concept might sound like a homework assignment from therapy, the practice of regular check-ins is deeply rooted in cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) principles. Dr. Aaron T. Beck, a pioneer of CBT, introduced the idea of therapeutic homework to extend the benefits of therapy into daily life. This approach has been adopted by many modern therapies, emphasizing the value of continuous engagement with therapeutic practices.
Key Benefits of the Check-In Check-List Activity
Encourages Gratitude: Expressing gratitude is a powerful tool that enhances relationships by fostering appreciation and positivity.
Promotes Open Communication: The activity provides a platform for partners to express their needs and desires directly and constructively.
Enhances Accountability: By writing down their responses, couples create a tangible reminder of their commitments, promoting reliability and trust.
Supports Emotional Connection: Regular check-ins help couples stay connected emotionally, addressing both positive and challenging aspects of their relationship.
Sample weekly relationship check-in questions:
What was the highlight of your week?
Is there anything you struggled with this week?
How can I make things easier for you next week?
What’s something new you discovered about me recently?
How do you feel we’re doing in terms of our long-term goals?
On a scale of 1 to 10, how emotionally connected do you feel we are?
How committed do you feel to our relationship, and is there anything you need more of?
How strong is our friendship, and what can we do to strengthen it?
How would you rate our level of trust, and what can we work on to improve it?
How can we integrate more discussions about our feelings into our daily life?
What did you appreciate most about me this week?
What was your favorite moment we shared this week?
Did anything I do this week make you feel especially loved?
Are there any issues or conflicts we need to resolve?
What’s something I did this week that you didn’t like?
How can we better support each other’s personal goals?
What’s a fun activity we can plan for the coming week?
How satisfied are you with our physical intimacy, and is there anything you’d like to change?
What’s one thing I can do to make you feel more valued?
How can we improve our financial management together?
What are some ways we can connect more spiritually?
How can we enhance our communication skills with each other?
What’s one thing you wish I understood better about you?
How can we ensure we spend quality time together during busy weeks?
What’s something new we can do as a couple that we haven’t tried yet?
How can we better handle stress together?
What’s a new habit or routine we can start to strengthen our relationship?
How can we better balance household responsibilities?
Is there something you’ve been wanting to share with me but haven’t yet?
How can we make our time together more meaningful and intentional?
How can we express more gratitude towards each other?
What are some shared goals or projects we can embark on together?
How can we better navigate disagreements and conflicts?
What’s one thing we can do to deepen our connection?
How can we support each other’s mental and emotional well-being?
What’s a new activity or hobby we can explore together?
How can we be more present during our conversations?
What can we do to make our home environment more loving and positive?
How can we ensure we both get enough rest and relaxation?
How can we improve our teamwork as partners?
How can we better celebrate our achievements and milestones?
What’s one thing we can do to add more excitement to our relationship?
How can we show more empathy and understanding towards each other?
What can we do to make our daily routines more enjoyable?
How can we better support each other during tough times?
How can we improve our relationship with our extended families?
How can we make our communication more open and honest?
What’s one thing we can do to create more joy and laughter in our relationship?
How can we keep our love and connection strong over the years?
How can we make our relationship more adventurous and exciting?
Essential Themes in Relationship Check-Ins
Here are some key areas that the Check-In Check-List typically covers:
Emotional Connection: Encourage partners to express their feelings and emotions openly.
Gratitude Sharing: Foster mutual appreciation by sharing what you are grateful for about your partner.
Future Planning: Discuss personal and relationship goals to ensure you are moving in the same direction.
Quality Time: Plan for shared experiences to enhance your connection.
Support and Affirmation: Reaffirm your commitment and offer support for any challenges your partner may be facing.
Making the most of your check-ins
To build and maintain a healthy relationship, consider incorporating these steps into your weekly or monthly check-ins:
Maintain Regularity: Consistency is key. Whether weekly or monthly, ensure you have dedicated time for these check-ins.
Start with Gratitude: Begin by expressing appreciation for your partner to set a positive tone.
Acknowledge Efforts: Recognize and appreciate your partner's actions and efforts, both big and small.
Offer Support: Ask your partner what they need from you to feel more supported and loved.
Reflect on the Past Week: Discuss moments of connection and disconnection to gain insights.
Revisit Moments of Love: Recall times when you felt particularly loved and respected.
Share Unspoken Thoughts: Use this safe space to share thoughts that might otherwise be difficult to express.
Discuss Intimate Desires: Openly discuss your sexual desires and preferences to enhance physical intimacy.
Plan Shared Activities: Discuss and plan activities for the upcoming week to ensure quality time together.
Set Expectations and Needs: Ask your partner about specific actions that can make them feel more loved and supported.
Final thoughts
Regular relationship check-ins are a powerful tool for enhancing understanding, celebrating successes, resolving conflicts, and deepening your bond.
Cultivate this open and honest communication practice, and you can achieve a lasting and fulfilling relationship with ongoing Positive Sentiment Override.
Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.
REFERENCES:
Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (2015). The seven principles for making marriage work: A practical guide from the country's foremost relationship expert. Harmony.
Beck, A. T. (1979). Cognitive therapy of depression. Guilford Press.
Emmons, R. A., & McCullough, M. E. (2003). Counting blessings versus burdens: An experimental investigation of gratitude and subjective well-being in daily life. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84(2), 377-389. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.84.2.377
Robles, T. F., Slatcher, R. B., Trombello, J. M., & McGinn, M. M. (2014). Marital quality and health: A meta-analytic review. Psychological Bulletin, 140(1), 140-187. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0031859
