The Woes of the Privileged: Why we focus on life’s challenges

Monday, July 29, 2024.

It’s fascinating how some people, blessed with health, success, and relative happiness, still manage to lament about being unfairly treated.

Psychological research offers an intriguing explanation for this phenomenon.

Introducing the ‘Headwind Effect’ Dr. Shai Davidai and Professor Thomas Gilovich have termed this fascinating discovery the ‘headwinds/tailwinds asymmetry.’

It’s like riding a bicycle: you hardly notice the wind at your back but grumble incessantly about every gust in your face.

Our minds, it seems, are magnetically drawn to the barriers we encounter, making obstacles feel more prominent than our advantages.

Here are some eye-opening practical consequences (thanks to Davidai & Gilovich, 2016):

• Sibling Rivalry: People often believe they were treated more harshly by their parents than their siblings. Clearly, everyone feels uniquely wronged!

• Academic Struggles: Academics think grant panels, journal reviewers, and tenure committees are tougher on them than on those in other fields. It's as if each discipline believes it's the underdog.

• Political Perspectives: In the US, both Republicans AND Democrats feel the electoral map is biased against them. This mutual sense of unfairness is oddly unifying.

• Sports Fans: Football fans are convinced their team faces the toughest matches. Every season seems like an uphill battle.

Noticing ‘Tailwinds’ Interestingly, there is a bright side: sometimes, people do recognize when they’re helped. Research shows we’re more likely to acknowledge support from family, friends, and mentors. Dr. Julia Smith, who led this study, points to a social norm that encourages us to appreciate the help we receive.

How the Study Was Conducted

Dr. Smith’s seven studies, involving over 1,500 participants, revealed that people are more inclined to remember those who propelled them forward rather than those who held them back. It’s heartwarming to think about!

Dr. Smith explains:

“The tendency to notice and acknowledge the benefits that come from a person’s relationship is due, at least in part, to a social obligation to do so—a norm that does not apply to privileges that come from non-interpersonal life circumstances.”

So, if you want to cultivate more gratitude, focusing on specific folks who’ve supported you can be more effective. It’s easier to be grateful to your mother, for example, than to the fortunate circumstances of your birthplace.

The study was published in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin (Smith et al., 2024).

Now, let’s strike a balance between recognizing our headwinds and appreciating those helpful tailwinds. It’s a nuanced way to navigate life’s journey.

Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.