The Great Divorce Epidemic: Love, Statistics, and the Art of Throwing in the Towel

Wednesday, March 5, 2025.

Once upon a time, marriage was a lockbox—ironclad, eternal, and stubborn as an old priest who refused to retire.

Now, in the era of express divorces and self-help gurus who brandish phrases like "self-actualization" and "conscious uncoupling," we’re tearing apart the institution of marriage like it’s a lease on a bad apartment.

The numbers are stark.

In the United States, the divorce rate has fluctuated over the years, with long-term trends reflecting significant shifts in marital stability.

According to the National Center for Health Statistics, approximately 39% of American marriages ended in divorce as of 2019, meaning nearly four out of ten couples eventually called it quits.

This marks a dramatic rise from 1960, when only 9% of American marriages dissolved.

The odds grow even steeper for those giving matrimony another shot—research suggests that around 60% of second marriages and a staggering 73% of third marriages ultimately fail, indicating that experience does not necessarily translate to success in love. What’s going on?

The March of the Serial Monogamists

For those who think second (or third) chances bring better results, I regret to inform you that marriage is one of those things that does not improve with practice.

While specific statistics on the failure rates of second and third marriages are not provided in the current data, it's commonly understood that subsequent marriages have higher failure rates.

By the time people reach their fourth attempt, they are likely either in denial or simply running a series of psychological experiments on themselves.

But why? Have we become genetically predisposed to get bored? Are we cursed by algorithms that now control everything from our romantic choices to our opinions on whether pineapple belongs on pizza?

COVID-19 and the Divorce Surge (or Lack Thereof)

I remember the pandemic. That two-year stretch of involuntary house arrest where many couples realized that their spouse chews too loudly, their political opinions are insufferable, and their quarantine sweatpants have developed an odor previously thought to be impossible outside of livestock farms.

In 2020, marriage in America took a hit—at least, according to Legal Templates, a legal document service that reported a 34% increase in divorce rates compared to the previous year.

The pandemic, it seemed, had turned forced togetherness into a breaking point.

But a study published in Social Science & Medicine painted a different picture, finding that divorce rates in several countries, including the U.S., didn’t actually rise during the crisis.

The contradiction leaves an open question: was there truly a wave of pandemic-induced breakups, or just a shift in how—and when—couples decided to call it quits?

Some sources claimed that divorces skyrocketed during COVID, but studies have shown a mixed bag in the divorce rate during the pandemic . In short, some marriages were crushed by lockdowns, while others merely absorbed their fate like a bad sitcom that refuses to be canceled.

The Almighty Dollar: Love’s Unofficial Executioner

Nowadays, people seem to think of marriage the way they think of a gym membership—great in theory, but cancel anytime if it gets too inconvenient. Divorce, once the social equivalent of leprosy, is now just a reset button when things go south.

And then there’s money—because, of course, there’s always money. Some spouses role up their sleeves and earn, some coast and slum for decades off the sweat of their over-stressed partner.

Meanwhile the cost of everything keeps going up, wages are stuck in quicksand, and debt piles up like junk mail.

Couples don’t just fight about money; they marinate in financial stress until the whole relationship starts to smell funny.

Eventually, somebody cracks, and suddenly, “for richer or poorer” starts looking like a clerical error.

Economists, being the romantic poets of our time, have found that economic instability makes for excellent divorce fuel.

High costs of living, stagnant wages, and debt levels that would make a 14th-century serf weep—these things put a strain on even the most dedicated couples. But when you have a lazy, underperforming partner, resentments can lurk deep.

As a rule women, in particular, tend to experience an immediate and severe drop in income post-divorce, while men, on average, either maintain or improve their financial status.

In simpler terms: when the ink dries on the divorce papers, he gets a new car, she gets a second job. But your mileage may vary.

The Psychological Toll: Love, Loss, and the Neurosis in Between

If you thought your existential dread was bad before, try adding a divorce into the mix.

Divorce can lead to higher rates of depression and anxiety.

Children, as usual, are the collateral damage. Kids of divorce are more prone to behavioral problems, academic difficulties, and lower self-esteem.

A separate study found that having children could reduce the likelihood of divorce—at least until the children become teenagers, at which point all bets are off.

Premarital Education: A Seatbelt for Marriage

For those who don’t want their relationship to end in flames, research suggests that premarital education may act as a kind of insurance policy against divorce.

Studies have shown that couples who engage in premarital education programs have a significantly lower risk of divorce, especially those who report higher satisfaction levels at the outset. In short, if you start off hating each other, no amount of counseling will save you.

So, What Now?

If you’re already married, the best way to avoid divorce is to treat your marriage like an old car: perform regular maintenance, rotate the tires, and never, under any circumstances, drive it into a ditch.

Seeking counseling before your spouse has transformed into an unrecognizable bundle of grievances is also a good start.

And if you’re contemplating marriage, know that the odds are against you but, hey, so is life, and people still go skydiving. Get pre-marital counseling and slash your likelihood of divorcing by 30%!

In the end, the great divorce epidemic of our time is not just about law firms making a killing on paperwork fees.

It’s about cultural shifts, economic pressures, and the uncomfortable truth that human beings, despite their best intentions, are simply not that good at permanence.

But if you do find yourself staring down the abyss of marital dissolution, remember: even in love, “good enough” might be a worthy goal.

Why not give science-based couples therapy a try before throwing in the towel?

Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.

REFERENCES:

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2022). National Marriage and Divorce Rate Trends. Retrieved from

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2022). Divorce Rates by State: 2019-2022. Retrieved from

National Center for Family & Marriage Research. (2022). Marriage, Divorce, and the COVID-19 Pandemic in the U.S.Retrieved from

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2024). Marriages in the U.S. in 2022 Returned to Pre-Pandemic Levels. Retrieved from

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2024). 2024 Schedule of NCHS Statistical Products and Reports. Retrieved from

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2024). National Vital Statistics Reports - Homepage. Retrieved from