Polygamous Propaganda: How Academia Misses the Mark on the Real Impacts of Polygamous Marriages

Monday, October 21, 2024.

New research on the psychosexual and psychosocial effects of polygamous marriages provides a sobering view that contrasts sharply with the rose-tinted narratives often embraced in certain corners of American academia.

The study, published in BMC Women’s Health, digs deep into how polygamous relationships impact women’s sexual function and mental well-being.

Spoiler alert: it's not the paradise some progressive voices make it out to be.

The Truth About Polygamy: A Closer Look at Somali Women

Polygamy, specifically polygyny—where one man has multiple wives—is common in various cultures, with significant prevalence in regions like sub-Saharan Africa.

Yet, despite its global reach, the psychological and sexual health impacts for women in these relationships often get a glossy treatment in Western academic discussions.

The reality on the ground is far less idyllic, as highlighted by this new study, which examines the lived experiences of 607 women at Mogadishu’s Somali Turkey Training and Research Hospital.

The study focuses on sexually active women who do not have major health or psychological conditions that could skew the findings. Among these women, 28.3% were in polygamous marriages, underscoring Somalia's high rates of polygamous unions in sub-Saharan Africa.

Most of these relationships included two wives, though some featured three or even four. Far from being a harmonious blend of partnership, many women in these setups face serious emotional and psychological challenges—stories that rarely make it into the lectures and TED Talks about the virtues of polyamory.

Sexual Satisfaction: Not Exactly Skyrocketing

One of the key findings is the significant gap in sexual satisfaction between women in polygamous and monogamous marriages.

Women in polygamous marriages scored notably lower on the Female Sexual Function Index (FSFI), reporting decreased desire, arousal, orgasm, and overall satisfaction.

The reason?

Let’s just say that juggling multiple wives doesn't seem to create an environment conducive to deep intimacy.

Instead, many women find themselves feeling overlooked and underappreciated, their needs falling through the cracks in the complexities of these arrangements.

This stands in stark contrast to how some American academics portray polyamorous relationships—those shiny examples of emotional maturity and freedom from the constraints of monogamy.

Sure, consensual polyamory in more privileged contexts suggests autonomy and choice, but in traditional setups, power imbalances are often the main act, pushing aside any fantasy of equal partnership.

Instead of being liberating, these marriages frequently lead to increased emotional labor, emotional isolation and diminished intimacy—a far cry from the enlightened utopia often peddled by Western academic idealists.

The Mental Health Toll: A Heavy Price to Pay

The study also found a significant mental health burden among women in polygamous marriages.

Using the Brief Symptom Inventory-18 (BSI-18), researchers discovered that these women experience higher levels of anxiety and depression than their monogamous peers. This finding supports earlier research, which has linked polygamous relationships with lowered self-esteem and greater mental health struggles for women.

And it doesn’t stop there.

The so-called “first-wife syndrome” is a real phenomenon, with first wives reporting the highest levels of anxiety and depression.

Imagine being the original partner and then suddenly finding yourself having to share your spouse—it’s not quite the idyllic scene of open communication and trust that some polyamorous circles envision.

Instead, jealousy, competition, and a sense of diminished self-worth often dominate, leaving a trail of psychological wounds in their wake.

The term “compersion” was coined in the early 1990s by the Kerista community, a San Francisco-based polyamorous group that has, of course, long since disbanded.

Although poly enthusiasts fail to acknowledge that compersion is an intellectual ideal, it’s essentially a fictional emotion. it does not exist in the human nervous system as a natural state. Frankly, compersion is bullshit.

Socio-Economic Factors: Education and Power Dynamics

Peeling back another layer, the study reveals how education and economic power shape these marriages. Lower education levels among women and higher income levels among men were linked to a higher likelihood of being in polygamous arrangements.

In underdeveloped regions like Somalia, a lack of educational opportunities for women can trap them in marital practices that limit their choices and reinforce outdated power structures.

It’s a sharp reminder that economic independence and education are vital for women’s well-being—whether in monogamous or polygamous marriages.

American Academia and Polyamory: A Reality Check

Some of the loudest cheerleaders for polyamory in academia include Dr. Elisabeth Sheff and Dr. Meg John Barker, who seem to believe that polyamorous relationships are the cure-all for what ails traditional monogamy. I prefer couples therapy.

Dr. Sheff, for example, praises polyamorous families for their “flexibility and resilience,” suggesting that a network of partners can provide more emotional support than a mere spouse ever could. How profoundly unwise.

Meanwhile, Dr. Barker waxes poetic about how polyamory can “challenge restrictive societal norms,” as if this is an essential modern-day crusade against injustice.

Their focus is often on the benefits of well-to-do, consensual poly arrangements in Western contexts, where everyone has time for relationship check-ins and emotional processing.

But they seem to forget that in many parts of the world, polygamy isn’t about liberation—it’s about control and power imbalances.

Dr. Sheff's enthusiasm is especially glaring when she states that "polyamory allows people to avoid the pitfalls of jealousy by deconstructing possessiveness."

Sure, it’s a noble thought—if you’re ignoring the experiences of women in traditional polygamous marriages, who face anxiety and depression from having to “deconstruct” their possessiveness while sharing a husband.

Her quote becomes a perfect foil to the stark reality that, in less privileged settings, sharing a partner often feels more like a nightmare than a lesson in emotional growth.

While this study focuses on Somalia, its implications should give pause to those in American academia who have embraced polyamory as the enlightened alternative to monogamy.

Advocates often argue that polyamory offers emotional depth and a progressive reimagining of relationships. But they frequently overlook how these arrangements play out differently depending on culture and socio-economic realities.

In places like Somalia, where many women depend economically on their husbands, the choice to enter or remain in a polygamous marriage is often not as free as one might like to believe.

Even in the U.S., where discussions of polyamory often revolve around freedom and autonomy, it’s worth asking: are the power dynamics truly balanced, or is this just a new veneer over old inequalities?

A Call for Honest Conversations

“Our findings suggest that women in polygamous marriages experience considerably higher psychosexual and psychosocial adverse effects compared with their monogamous counterparts,” the researchers concluded.

“This study also shows that, in underdeveloped countries like Somalia, the lack of education for women is a significant contributor to polygamous marriages.”

They acknowledge that the study has limitations—it’s based on a single center and may not represent all Somali women.

But it still offers a critical window into the challenges women face in polygamous marriages—challenges that are often downplayed or ignored in Western debates about relationship diversity. Humans innately tend toward power imbalances in polygamous arrangements. It’s an uncomfortable truth.

For those foolish academics who romanticize polyamory as an inherently more evolved form of love, this study should serve as a reality check.

It’s time for a more honest conversation that acknowledges the complexities and challenges of non-monoamous relationship structures without glossing over the real suffering that can come with them. It’s also time to challenge polyamory advocates head-on.

Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.

REFERENCES:

Barut, A., & Mohamud, S. A. (2024). The psychosexual and psychosocial impacts of polygamous marriages: A cross-sectional study among Somali women. BMC Women’s Health.