What Happens to the Placeless People? Rethinking Home and Belonging During the Holidays
Wednesday, December 25, 2024. This is for Danny Kulesco.
While holiday songs like "I’ll Be Home for Christmas" and "White Christmas" evoke deep yearnings for home, they often leave one critical question unanswered: What about those who have no true home to return to?
For the unattached, the transient, or the emotionally estranged, the holidays may magnify a profound sense of placelessness.
If home is the heart of the holidays, what happens to those who exist without an anchor in the world?
The Unmoored: A Hidden Reality
The idea of home is often romanticized as a sanctuary—a place where love, memories, and identity intertwine.
But for many, "home" is either a painful memory, an unreachable dream, or an ambiguous concept altogether.
For the placeless, the holidays don't bring the warmth of familiarity. Instead, they highlight the absence of connection—to a physical place, a community, or even to oneself.
This isn't about physical homelessness, although that's an essential social issue in and of itself. It's about emotional and psychological homelessness—an experience of being untethered, often invisible, but deeply felt.
What Is Home, Really?
Psychologists describe the bond between people and places using terms like "topophilia" (the love of place) and "attachment to place." These concepts highlight how deeply humans intertwine their sense of self with the places they inhabit. Yet, for the unattached, this bond is fractured or absent.
Placelessness can emerge for many reasons:
Frequent Relocation: Military families, migrant workers, and nomads of the digital age often lose the stability of a "home base."
Estranged Relationships: For those cut off from family or communities, the holidays can deepen the ache of belonging to nowhere.
Rootlessness by Choice: Some embrace a lifestyle of movement—digital nomads, for example—but even this chosen placelessness can bring moments of longing.
Trauma and Displacement: Refugees, survivors of natural disasters, and others forced to leave their homes often grapple with a haunting sense of loss.
Can You Be at Home Without a Place?
For those unattached to physical locations, the concept of home takes on a new meaning. It becomes less about geography and more about relationships, rituals, and moments of connection. But what happens when even those are absent?
Studies suggest that humans require a sense of rootedness to thrive—a psychological anchor that provides stability and security. Without it, people often experience heightened levels of anxiety, depression, and a persistent sense of disorientation. Home is not just a "where"; it’s a "who" and a "why."
The Holiday Void
During the holidays, traditions like gift exchanges, shared meals, and revisiting familiar places reinforce our ties to both people and settings. These rituals are powerful because they affirm our belonging.
For the placeless, however, such moments of affirmation are rare or nonexistent. The holiday season, so often a time of connection, can become a stark reminder of absence.
Anthropological insights shed light on this divide.
The Tiwi People of Bathurst Island believed their home was the only habitable place in the world, while everywhere else was the "land of the dead."
Similarly, the Zuni in the American Southwest hold annual rituals to bless and sanctify their homes, reinforcing their spiritual and communal bonds. For the placeless, no such rituals exist to tether them to a sense of order, safety, or belonging.
Building Home Without a Place
So, what can be done for those who find themselves untethered during the holidays—or any time of year? Here are a few ways to create a sense of "home" without a fixed place:
Cultivate Micro-Connections: Seek out small, meaningful interactions, whether with friends, colleagues, or strangers. A shared meal or a heartfelt conversation can become a pocket of belonging.
Create Personal Rituals: Establish traditions, no matter how simple—lighting a candle, journaling, or taking a walk in nature. These acts can ground you in the moment.
Redefine "Home": Shift the focus from physical space to emotional resonance. Home might be a person, a memory, or even a song that brings comfort.
Find a Community: Volunteer work or shared hobbies can connect you to others in meaningful ways, helping replace feelings of disconnection with purpose.
Embrace Fluid Identity: For those who move frequently or live outside conventional norms, seeing yourself as "at home everywhere" can provide a liberating sense of self.
Why This Matters
For the unattached, the absence of a physical or emotional home can feel like an insurmountable void, especially during the holidays. Yet, by rethinking what home means, individuals and communities can begin to create spaces of belonging—even for those who seem placeless.
The poet Robert Frost wrote, "Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in." But for those without such a place, the challenge is not just finding a door that opens—it’s creating one.
As we celebrate the holidays, let’s extend that idea of home outward, welcoming those who might otherwise remain on the margins. Home, after all, isn’t just a building or a birthplace—it’s a feeling we can build together, wherever we may be.
A New Definition of Belonging
Creating a sense of home for the placeless requires a shift in how society views belonging.
For those who feel untethered—whether due to estrangement, displacement, or lifestyle choice—"home" must transcend its traditional boundaries. It's less about roots and more about wings: fostering relationships, rituals, and self-understanding that ground us emotionally, no matter where we are physically.
The idea of being “placeless” can be reframed as an opportunity for fluidity and growth.
While society often celebrates stability and permanence, there is beauty in adaptability and resilience.
Perhaps some who lack a fixed home may possess a unique perspective on life, finding meaning in transient connections and fleeting moments of joy.
Still, doesn’t the journey toward cultivating belonging requires intentional effort—both individually and collectively?
How Communities Can Help
Communities play a vital role in bridging the gap for the unattached. During the holidays and beyond, we can take steps to ensure that no one feels left out in the cold:
Open Your Doors: Invite neighbors, coworkers, or acquaintances who may not have family nearby to join your celebrations. The simple act of inclusion can create ripples of belonging.
Create Shared Spaces: Community centers, places of worship, and local organizations can establish gathering points where people can connect, share stories, and build traditions together.
Acknowledge Diversity: Recognize that not everyone’s sense of home fits the traditional mold. Celebrate the myriad ways people find belonging, from online communities to chosen families.
Provide Support for the Displaced: For those experiencing homelessness or displacement, practical aid—housing programs, mental health services, and job training—can help rebuild both stability and identity.
Finding the Universal in the Particular
The longing for home is a universal human experience, even if its expression varies across cultures and individuals. For some, home is the smell of a favorite dish simmering on the stove.
For others, it’s a well-worn path through the woods or a grandmother’s old quilt. Yet for those who are unattached, home may be found in the kindness of strangers or the rhythm of a familiar song.
Recognizing the deeper emotional needs beneath the concept of home—security, identity, and connection—can help us design a world where even the placeless find a sense of belonging. After all, the holidays are less about a location and more about the moments of warmth and connection we share.
A Season for Everyone
This holiday season, let’s broaden our idea of what it means to be “home.”
For some, it’s a return to familiar faces and places. For others, it’s the start of something new—finding meaning in unexpected connections and fleeting but profound moments of comfort.
If we approach the holidays with an open heart, we can help transform placelessness from a source of sorrow into an opportunity for reinvention. In doing so, we may discover that home isn’t so much a place as it is a feeling—one that we have the power to create, nurture, and share with others.
As the lights twinkle and the songs play, let’s remember: home is wherever we make it, and belonging is a gift we can all give, no matter where we are.
Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.
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