Love Isn’t Dead Yet: 9 Optimistic Trends in Human Romance
Friday, March 21, 2025.
If you believe the internet (and you shouldn’t, not without a helmet), romance is on life support, marriage is obsolete, and everyone is either swiping left or emotionally unavailable.
And yet—against all odds—human beings keep trying to love each other.
Not just trying. Learning. Upgrading. Risking. Failing better.
Here are nine specific, research-backed trends in modern romance that posits we aren’t fu*king doomed.
The Vocabulary of Love Is Expanding
Once upon a time, people had two emotional settings in relationships: fine and get out of my house.
But now? We're throwing around terms like anxious-preoccupied attachment, rupture and repair, and nonviolent communication at brunch.
The emotional lexicon has gone from caveman grunts to guided meditations.
Research, You Ask?
The Gottman Institute reports that emotionally intelligent couples—those who can name their feelings and attune to each other’s needs—have significantly lower divorce rates.
A 2022 study published in Emotion showed that emotional granularity (i.e., the ability to differentiate emotions like anger, sadness, disappointment) is associated with better conflict resolution in couples.
Study here
“Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind.” — Rudyard Kipling.
And we've finally started using them to say: “Please, I want to feel close to you.”
Therapy Has Gone Mainstream—and Not Just for Crises
Back in your grandfather’s day, going to couples therapy meant one thing: someone cheated and the house was full of broken plates.
Today? It’s closer to a tune-up. “Preventative Relational Care” is an emerging norm. Think of it like flossing for your soul.
According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), 97% of couples surveyed said they got the help they needed from couples therapy.
AAMFT StatsMillennials and Gen Z are significantly more likely to seek therapy before marriage or cohabitation. They're building the plane while flying it—but with manuals, coaches, and a support subreddit.
They are the first generation to normalize self-awareness as foreplay. That’s progress.
Gender Scripts Are Melting Like Ice Cubes on a Hot Planet
The old blueprint said: man earns, woman nurtures. Man stoic, woman emotive. Man grill, woman salad.
But that schematic is cracking. Couples now co-author their roles, often based on values rather than tradition. Think: you make breakfast, I do bedtime, or you lead the charge on finances, I lead the calendar revolution.
Pew Research shows a steady rise in “egalitarian relationships,” with 63% of Americans saying that marriage should be a partnership where both partners share breadwinning and caregiving.
Asimov once said: When the rules become obsolete, humans do what they do best—adapt.
Emotional Intelligence Is Sexy Now
We used to fall for the bad boy who didn’t call. Now we swoon when someone says, “I noticed you seemed distant yesterday. Are you okay?”
Instagram therapists like @the.holistic.psychologist and TikTok creators like @yourdiagnonsense are turning emotional literacy into mass entertainment. And while not all content is good content, the signal-to-noise ratio is improving.
Daniel Goleman’s original research on EQ (emotional intelligence) is being cited again in relational contexts. Empathy, attunement, and emotional regulation predict not only workplace success—but long-term relational satisfaction.
In a saner universe, dating profiles would include cortisol levels and rupture-repair ratios. Perhaps that’s next?
People Are Waiting Longer to Commit—and That’s a Good Thing
Marriage rates may be down, but marriage quality is up for those who wait.
People who marry later—typically in their late 20s to mid-30s—tend to have stronger, more stable partnerships. They’ve had more time to develop emotionally, financially, and existentially (i.e., realize their ex was, in fact, a walking red flag in Vans).
The Institute for Family Studies reports that people who marry between 28–32 have the lowest risk of divorce.
Research from Stanford found that couples who live together after age 25 tend to have more durable relationships.
Stanford Study
Queer Love Is Rewriting the Script for Everyone
The visibility of queer relationships has opened the floodgates for more intentional, negotiated love.
These partnerships often require conscious communication about roles, boundaries, and values—practices that heterosexual couples are now borrowing, consciously or not.
LGBTQ+ couples are statistically more likely to use explicit negotiation strategies around monogamy, chores, finances, and affection.
APA Report
When love isn’t assumed, it becomes deliberate. Queer love shows us that nothing about connection should be default. This is a massive cultural contribution.
Dating Apps Are Evolving Beyond the Swamp
Yes, swipe culture has commodified courtship. But there's a glimmer of hope. A new generation of apps—like Hinge (“designed to be deleted”), Lex (queer-friendly text-first dating), and even slow dating apps like Feeld and Tame—are pushing back against hookup fatigue.
According to Pew (2023), 44% of dating app users said they were looking for long-term relationships—not flings. That number is rising among younger users.
Pew Research
The machines may have gotten us into this mess, but some of them are trying to help us out of it.
Romance Is Becoming a Mutual Growth Project
The old idea was: find The One, stop growing, and settle into a sitcom-worthy stasis. The new idea? Find someone who wants to grow with you—emotionally, spiritually, sexually, and even economically.
Terry Real calls this “fierce intimacy”—where truth-telling, mutual evolution, and emotional courage fuel long-term love.
We're building not just partnerships, but growth incubators disguised as Sunday brunch.
Kindness Is Still the Kingmaker
Despite all the therapy trends, apps, and attachment hacks, the science still points to the same core predictor of lasting love: kindness.
Gottman’s 40-year study of couples found that kindness—especially during conflict—is the most consistent predictor of marital stability.
Gottman on Kindness
The future of love doesn’t belong to the alpha, the avoidant, or the endlessly optimized. It belongs to the kind.
Final Thought: Humanity Is Stubbornly Romantic
Despite wars, recessions, climate dread, and an endless scroll of doom, people still fall in love on benches, kiss in grocery store aisles, and write “thinking of you” texts with trembling thumbs.
There’s something hilarious and noble about that.
In 1970 I met Kurt Vonnegut at a book fair. I was a smartass 14 year old, I smirked as I asked him the meaning of life. He said: “The purpose of a human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever is around to be loved.” I hope I never will forget that.
We’re getting better at it, slowly.
Through data. Through TikTok videos about secure attachment. And through science-based couples therapy. Love isn't dying—it’s evolving.
And like all evolution, it’s messy, beautiful, and surprisingly hopeful.
I think this is so important right now. Let’s take a deep dive into each of these 9 trends and take a hard look at the science. Happy Spring!
Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.