Is Bed-Sharing Safe? The Surprising Truth About Co-Sleeping and Your Baby's Emotional Development

Tuesday, August 27, 2024.

The debate over bed-sharing with infants is as old as parenting itself. Should you let your baby sleep in your bed, or is it better to keep them in their crib?

Concerns range from safety issues like Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) to fears about long-term emotional and behavioral problems.

But what does the research actually say? Is bed-sharing a nurturing practice, or are you setting your baby up for emotional turmoil?

Let’s explore the science behind bed-sharing and its impact on your child’s development.

The Bed-Sharing Controversy: What Are the Concerns?

Bed-sharing, or co-sleeping, is a common practice in many cultures, often driven by the convenience of nighttime breastfeeding and the desire for closeness between parent and child. In Western societies, however, the practice has been met with skepticism and concern, particularly regarding the risk of SIDS.

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) strongly advises against bed-sharing during the first year of life due to the increased risk of SIDS (Moon et al., 2016). Yet, millions of parents continue to bed-share, sometimes out of necessity and other times by choice, citing benefits like improved sleep for both mother and child and enhanced bonding.

But what about the long-term effects? Does sharing a bed with your infant lead to emotional or behavioral problems down the road?

The Research: What Does Science Say About Bed-Sharing and Development?

Contrary to some fears, recent research suggests that bed-sharing does not have a detrimental impact on a child’s emotional or behavioral development. A study by Bilgin and Wolke (2020) analyzed data from the UK’s Millennium Cohort Study, following thousands of children from infancy through childhood. The researchers looked specifically at children who shared a bed with their parents at 9 months old and assessed their emotional and behavioral development at multiple points up to age 11.

Using the Strengths and Difficulties Questionnaire (SDQ), a widely recognized tool for measuring child mental health, the study found no significant link between bed-sharing at 9 months and emotional or behavioral issues later in childhood (Bilgin & Wolke, 2020). The findings suggest that bed-sharing, when practiced safely, does not negatively affect a child’s long-term emotional well-being.

Bed-Sharing: A Closer Look at Potential Benefits

Interestingly, bed-sharing might offer some benefits that go beyond the nighttime convenience. For one, co-sleeping can facilitate breastfeeding, which is associated with numerous health benefits, including better immune protection for the infant and reduced risk of postpartum depression for the mother (McKenna & McDade, 2005).

Moreover, physical closeness between parent and child during sleep can promote a secure attachment, a critical factor in a child’s emotional and social development (Sears & Sears, 2001). A secure attachment is linked to better emotional regulation, social competence, and resilience in children.

Safety First: Guidelines for Safe Bed-Sharing

While the research offers some reassurance, it’s crucial to emphasize that bed-sharing must be practiced safely. The AAP provides clear guidelines to minimize the risks associated with co-sleeping:

  • Always place the baby on their back to sleep—this is the safest position for reducing the risk of SIDS.

  • Use a firm mattress—avoid soft surfaces like couches or armchairs.

  • Keep pillows, blankets, and soft bedding away from the babythese can pose suffocation hazards.

  • Avoid bed-sharing if you or your partner have consumed alcohol, drugs, or are excessively tired—these factors can impair your ability to wake up if necessary.

  • By following these guidelines, parents can create a safer bed-sharing environment that supports both the baby’s well-being and the family’s sleep quality.

The Bottom Line: Should You Bed-Share?

So, should you invite your little one into your bed?

The evidence suggests that, as long as you’re following safe sleep guidelines, bed-sharing is unlikely to harm your child’s emotional or behavioral development.

In fact, it might even strengthen the bond between you and your baby, making those midnight wake-up calls a little more bearable.

As with many parenting decisions, the choice to bed-share is personal and should be based on what works best for your family.

Just remember to prioritize safety and be mindful of your child’s needs. With the right approach, bed-sharing can be a nurturing and rewarding experience for both parent and child.

Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.

REFERENCES:

Bilgin, A., & Wolke, D. (2020). Associations between bed-sharing in infancy and childhood internalizing and externalizing symptoms. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 61(3), 304-312. https://doi.org/10.1111/jcpp.13144

McKenna, J. J., & McDade, T. (2005). Why babies should never sleep alone: A review of the co-sleeping controversy in relation to SIDS, bedsharing, and breastfeeding. Paediatric Respiratory Reviews, 6(2), 134-152. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.prrv.2005.03.006

Moon, R. Y., Carlin, R. F., & Hand, I. L. (2016). Evidence base for 2016 updated recommendations for a safe infant sleeping environment to reduce the risk of sleep-related infant deaths. Pediatrics, 138(5), e20162940. https://doi.org/10.1542/peds.2016-2940

Sears, W., & Sears, M. (2001). The Attachment Parenting Book: A Commonsense Guide to Understanding and Nurturing Your Baby. Little, Brown and Company.

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