Cinema Therapy Survival Lessons, Episode #3: The Martian — How to Science the Shit Out of Your Relationship Problems
Saturday, August 9, 2025.
In The Martian (2015), astronaut Mark Watney is accidentally left behind on Mars after his crew assumes he’s dead.
NASA is 140 million miles away, the food supply will run out in weeks, and the planet is an endless expanse of red dust and silence.
It’s not unlike some marriages—barren landscapes, poor communication, and the sinking feeling no one is coming to help.
Watney survives not because of a single act of heroism, but because of thousands of small decisions: taking stock of what he has, innovating under pressure, keeping himself mentally engaged, and refusing to quit.
Those are survival skills couples can use when their relationship feels stranded in hostile territory.
Lesson One: Inventory Your Resources, Not Your Grievances
When everything falls apart, many couples start compiling a list of betrayals, disappointments, and unmet needs.
Watney doesn’t waste time blaming his crewmates for leaving him behind.
He looks at what he does have—a damaged rover, a limited stash of food, a habitat designed for a short stay—and figures out how to make it last.
In therapy, this skill is called strength-based reframing: identifying and leveraging assets rather than fixating on deficits (Saleebey, 2006). A marriage on the brink can benefit from the same approach—count the emotional “supplies” you still have, even if they’re battered.
Lesson Two: Improvise or Die
The Mars habitat wasn’t built for farming, yet Watney turns it into a potato patch fertilized with, well, his own waste. It’s unpleasant, but it works.
This is what couples often discover: the solution to a problem rarely looks like the ideal you imagined when you first got together.
Long-term partners eventually have to experiment with new rituals, boundaries, or ways of communicating that no relationship manual could have anticipated (Gottman & Silver, 2012). Adaptation is rarely tidy—but it’s sometimes extends survival.
Lesson Three: Keep Communicating, Even Without Immediate Feedback
For much of the film, Watney has no live contact with Earth. Still, he records video logs, narrating his decisions and struggles. This habit—externalizing thoughts and feelings—keeps him sane.
In couples therapy, consistent communication works the same way. Even imperfect, delayed, or awkward attempts to connect can prevent the complete emotional isolation that corrodes intimacy (Markman, Stanley, & Blumberg, 2010).
Lesson Four: Humor as a Survival Tool
Watney jokes about his situation, not because it’s funny, but because humor lightens the mental load and sustains hope. In relationships, shared laughter reduces physiological stress responses and strengthens bonds (Kurtz & Algoe, 2015).
Couples facing prolonged stress—financial strain, illness, distance—benefit from the small, absurd moments of levity. It’s not denial; it’s resilience.
Lesson Five: One Problem at a Time
Near the end, Watney says, “You solve one problem, and you solve the next one, and if you solve enough problems, you get to come home.” This incremental focus mirrors what’s known in psychology as proximal goal setting—breaking a large, overwhelming challenge into achievable steps (Bandura & Schunk, 1981).
In marriage, the path back from alienation isn’t one grand reconciliation—it’s a series of small, repeated acts that rebuild trust.
The Martian isn’t just a survival epic.
It’s also a masterclass in the skills couples need when their relationship feels inhospitable: focus on resources, adapt creatively, keep talking, use humor to stay human, and solve the problem in front of you. If you can do that, you might just make it home together.
Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.
REFERENCES:
Bandura, A., & Schunk, D. H. (1981). Cultivating competence, self‐efficacy, and intrinsic interest through proximal self‐motivation. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 41(3), 586–598. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.41.3.586
Gottman, J., & Silver, N. (2012). What makes love last? How to build trust and avoid betrayal. Simon & Schuster.
Kurtz, L. E., & Algoe, S. B. (2015). Putting laughter in context: Shared laughter as behavioral indicator of relationship well-being. Personal Relationships, 22(4), 573–590. https://doi.org/10.1111/pere.12095
Markman, H. J., Stanley, S. M., & Blumberg, S. L. (2010). Fighting for your marriage: A deluxe revised edition of the classic best-seller for enhancing marriage and preventing divorce. John Wiley & Sons.
Saleebey, D. (2006). The strengths perspective in social work practice (4th ed.). Pearson Education.