Love in the Time of Housing Bubbles: How Economic Pressures Shape Relationships in Canada
Wednesday, October 23, 2024.
In Canada, home is more than just where the heart is—it’s also the topic of every family dinner, a major source of stress for young couples, and, in some cities, a distant dream.
With sky-high prices in cities like Toronto, Vancouver, and increasingly across the country, the Canadian housing bubble isn’t just a financial issue; it’s a relationship stressor.
For many couples, the struggle to buy a home—or even just afford rent—can put pressure on love in ways that their parents and grandparents may never have faced.
This post considers the unique challenges of the Canadian housing market, how they impact couples, and what research says about navigating financial strain without letting it come between you and your partner.
The Canadian Housing Market: A Brief Overview
Canada’s housing market has been a hot topic for years, with prices surging in cities across the country.
According to the Canadian Real Estate Association (CREA), the national average home price hit $716,000 in 2023, with Vancouver and Toronto leading the pack at over $1.2 million and $1.1 million, respectively (CREA, 2023).
This has made homeownership increasingly out of reach for many young Canadians, leading to a generation of renters and even more people living with their parents longer than ever before.
Economists have warned about the potential for a housing bubble, where prices are far higher than what economic fundamentals can justify.
For couples, this reality means navigating a market where saving for a down payment can take a decade or more, and monthly mortgage payments can consume over half of their income.
According to a study by the Bank of Canada, mortgage debt has become a significant burden, with nearly 40% of homeowners being highly leveraged, meaning their debt exceeds 450% of their annual income (Bank of Canada, 2022).
How the Housing Crisis Strains Relationships
When financial pressures rise, relationship satisfaction often dips. A study by Dew (2011) found that financial stress is a significant predictor of relationship dissatisfaction and can even increase the likelihood of separation. This is especially true for couples who have differing views on spending and saving, or when one partner feels more burdened by financial responsibilities than the other.
In the context of the Canadian housing market, couples may experience stress from several angles:
The Stress of Saving for a Down Payment: With down payment requirements as high as $200,000 in some markets, saving up can feel like an insurmountable task. This can delay other life milestones, like getting married, starting a family, or even taking vacations.
Renters’ Fatigue: For those unable to afford a home, renting can come with its own set of challenges, such as lack of stability, frequent moves, and the feeling of throwing money away. This instability can make it difficult for couples to feel settled and secure.
Power Imbalances: In cases where one partner comes into the relationship with family support or savings that can contribute to a down payment, while the other does not, it can create a sense of inequality. According to a study by Adamson and Pringle (2019), such financial imbalances can lead to feelings of indebtedness or resentment, especially if one partner feels they are sacrificing more than the other.
The Mental Health Toll of Housing Insecurity
Beyond the financial strain, the Canadian housing crisis has significant mental health implications for couples.
A survey by the Mental Health Commission of Canada (MHCC) in 2022 found that housing insecurity was closely linked to increased rates of anxiety and depression, with many respondents citing worries about rent increases, eviction, or the inability to ever afford a home. These anxieties can spill over into relationships, making it harder for couples to maintain a positive outlook on their future together.
Dr. John Smyth, a psychologist specializing in financial stress, notes that housing insecurity can create a sense of hopelessness that permeates relationships (Smyth, 2021). When couples feel that they will never be able to afford a home, it can impact their willingness to invest emotionally in long-term plans, leading to tensions around commitment and life planning.
Best Practices for Couples Navigating Housing Stress
Get on the Same Page About Financial Goals: Clarity Is Key
Setting financial goals as a couple can help to align expectations and create a sense of shared purpose. This includes agreeing on how much to save each month, what kind of home you want, and even whether buying is realistic or if renting is a better fit for now.
According to a study by Stanley et al. (2006), couples who have aligned financial goals report higher relationship satisfaction and lower levels of conflict. Having a clear plan can help reduce anxiety and create a sense of partnership in tackling financial challenges.
Practical Tips:
Set up a regular “money date” where you review your savings progress and discuss any adjustments to your budget. Keep the atmosphere light—add some snacks or a glass of wine to make it feel less like a business meeting.
Use budgeting apps that both partners can access to track spending and saving, helping to keep everyone on the same page.
Be Realistic About What You Can Afford: Avoid Lifestyle Inflation
Lifestyle inflation occurs when couples spend more as their income increases, often making it harder to save for big goals like buying a home. Keeping expenses in check can make a big difference in how quickly you can save for a down payment.
A study by Loibl and Hira (2011) found that couples who practice conscious spending are better able to meet their long-term financial goals. Conscious spending involves prioritizing what truly matters and being mindful of expenses that don’t add value to your life.
Practical Tips:
If homeownership is a priority, consider downsizing to a smaller rental or cutting back on discretionary spending like dining out or vacations. It’s not glamorous, but it can help you build up that down payment faster.
Make a vision board or set goals together for what your dream home looks like—it’s easier to make sacrifices when you have a shared vision in mind.
Explore Alternative Homeownership Models: Thinking Outside the Box
Co-ownership, rent-to-own agreements, or considering homes in smaller markets outside major cities can provide more affordable paths to homeownership.
A report by the Canada Mortgage and Housing Corporation (CMHC) suggests that alternative ownership models like co-ownership can make homeownership more accessible to first-time buyers (CMHC, 2021). These models allow multiple parties to share the costs of a home, making it easier to enter the market.
Practical Tips:
Consider looking into co-ownership arrangements with friends or family members. While it comes with its own set of challenges, it can make owning a home more feasible.
If remote work is an option, explore smaller towns or cities where housing is more affordable. Places like Halifax, Winnipeg, or the outskirts of Quebec City can offer a lower cost of living without sacrificing quality of life.
Focus on Connection, Not Just the Destination: Keeping Love Alive
It’s easy to become so focused on saving for a home that you forget to nurture your relationship. Prioritizing quality time together can help maintain a sense of closeness, even when financial pressures loom large.
Dr. Sue Johnson, a leading expert in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), emphasizes that building a secure emotional bond is critical during times of stress (Johnson, 2019). Couples who feel emotionally connected are better able to weather financial challenges together.
Practical Tips:
Make time for low-cost date nights, like a homemade dinner, a movie night at home, or a walk through a local park. The goal is to maintain a sense of normalcy and remind yourselves that your relationship is more than just your financial goals.
Practice gratitude by focusing on what you do have—each other. It may sound cheesy, but recognizing the positives can help counterbalance the stress of financial challenges.
When to Seek Professional Help: Financial Therapy and Counseling
Financial therapy can help couples address the emotional and psychological aspects of financial stress. If conversations about money often lead to conflict or if one partner’s anxiety about finances is overwhelming, it may be time to seek help.
Klontz et al. (2015) found that financial therapy is effective in helping couples understand their money scripts—unconscious beliefs about money that shape behavior—and work through financial conflicts.
Practical Tips:
Look for a certified financial therapist or a couples counselor with expertise in financial issues. Many professionals now offer virtual sessions, making it easier to find the right therapist.
Building a Future Together, One Step at a Time
Building a Future Together, One Step at a Time
The Canadian housing market might feel like a mountain to climb, but with patience, teamwork, and a few creative strategies, couples can navigate these challenges together. While the dream of homeownership might feel like it’s slipping further out of reach, remember that a strong relationship is built on love, not square footage.
After all, it’s not about where you live—it’s about who you come home to.
Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.
REFERENCES:
Dew, J. P. (2011). Financial issues and relationship satisfaction. Family Relations, 60(1), 66-76.
Johnson, S. (2019). Attachment theory in practice: Emotionally focused therapy (EFT) with individuals, couples, and families. Guilford Press.
Klontz, B., Kahler, R., & Klontz, T. (2015). Financial therapy: Theory, research, and practice. Springer.
Loibl, C., & Hira, T. K. (2011). A workplace and family financial education program. Journal of Financial Counseling and Planning, 22(1), 14-26.
Stanley, S. M., Amato, P. R., Johnson, C. A., & Markman, H. J. (2006). Premarital education, marital quality, and marital stability: Findings from a large, random household survey. Journal of Family Psychology, 20(1), 117-126.