Can Kindness Make You More Beautiful?
Monday, November 4, 2024.
Think back to the last time you met someone who was genuinely kind—how did they look to you?
Sure, they might not have walked off a magazine cover, but chances are, they seemed to radiate a certain glow, a sparkle that made them more appealing.
Now, thanks to some intriguing new research, we know that glow is not just in your head.
A recent study published in the British Journal of Social Psychology has revealed that being kind and helpful doesn’t just make you popular at the office potluck; it actually makes you look more physically attractive.
Yes, your mom was right all along: being nice makes you beautiful. Who knew she was moonlighting as a social psychologist?
Beauty Is More Than Skin Deep (Science Says So)
First impressions are often all about looks—we can’t help it, our brains are wired that way.
But what if we told you that personality traits can tip the scales of attractiveness? While everyone loves a good sense of humor and a quick wit (think of the many swooning hearts for the local funny guy at the open mic night), it turns out that kindness has a unique impact.
Natalia Kononov and Danit Ein-Gar, the brains behind this new study, decided to see if prosocial behavior—that's fancy talk for acts of kindness and helpfulness—could make someone seem more attractive.
The duo hypothesized that we might find kind people more attractive because our subconscious nudges us to connect with those who won’t hog the last slice of pizza or ghost us during moving day.
“Often, we describe inner beauty as if it’s some kind of compliment that doesn’t count for much—‘Oh, she’s beautiful on the inside,’” said Kononov, a Fulbright Postdoctoral Fellow at the Wharton School, University of Pennsylvania. “But I wanted to see if there was more to it. And, spoiler alert, there is! Acts of kindness actually change how we see someone’s physical beauty.”
The Study That Put Kindness to the Test
The research team didn’t just ask a few friends and call it a day.
Nope.
This was serious business, involving ten separate studies and over 4,000 participants. (Imagine trying to convince that many people to fill out surveys—talk about acts of kindness!)
Participants were shown images of people paired with descriptions of behaviors that were either kind or as bland as unbuttered toast. In some cases, they didn’t even get to see a picture; they simply read about the person’s actions.
And guess what? The folks doing good deeds consistently got higher marks for attractiveness, whether or not their photos were involved.
Turns out, seeing or hearing about someone who helps old ladies cross the street or volunteers at the animal shelter makes us go, “Wow, they’re kind of cute.” Even better, this effect wasn’t picky—it worked for both men and women, regardless of who was doing the judging.
Why Kindness Wins Over Humor and Intelligence
Here’s where it gets interesting.
You might think humor and intelligence are the MVPs of the attractiveness world, but according to Kononov’s research, kindness takes the crown. “We expected prosocial behavior to matter, but we didn’t think it would outshine traits like intelligence or humor,” Kononov said. (Take that, aspiring stand-up comedians!)
This revelation is a little like finding out the secret ingredient in grandma’s cookies was love all along. It’s wholesome, it makes sense, and you’re just annoyed you didn’t realize it sooner.
Sustained Kindness: The Gift That Keeps on Giving
Even better? Kindness is like fine wine—it gets better with time. The study found that people rated others as more attractive when kindness was part of their regular gig, not just a one-off “I held the door open once” kind of thing.
So, if you’ve been routinely nice to your neighbor’s hyperactive dog, congrats—you’re officially hotter.
Imperfections? What Imperfections?
Kindness even has a beauty-filtering effect. When people were described as prosocial, participants didn’t focus as much on minor flaws—like that pimple that popped up right before date night or the scar from that ill-advised skateboard trick.
It’s like kindness hands out free “rose-colored glasses” to anyone willing to use them.
But Wait, There’s a Catch
Before you start handing out compliments like candy, there are a few caveats.
The sample for the study was mostly American, so we’re not entirely sure if this holds up in cultures where kindness takes different forms (or where sarcasm is considered a second language).
Also, the research focused on initial impressions, so we don’t yet know if kindness can maintain its glow in a relationship where someone leaves dishes in the sink all the time.
The Takeaway: Be Kind, Stay Hot
“The main takeaway is that physical beauty is shaped by more than just bone structure and genetics,” Kononov explained. “Kindness and generosity can make you look better—and this isn’t just true for romantic settings.”
So, the next time you’re debating between sending that friendly text or not, remember: every act of kindness counts. And who knows? It might just make you someone’s 10/10.
Be well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.
REFERENCES:
Kononov, N., & Ein-Gar, D. (2024). Prosocial behaviour enhances evaluation of physical beauty. British Journal of Social Psychology, 63(5), 821–845. https://doi.org/10.1111/bjso.12579