The Science of The Post-Coital Buzz—And What the Research Really Says
Friday, February 14, 2025
Scientists, those tireless chroniclers of our messy human desires, have concluded that yes, sex leaves a glow brighter than a neon sign on a rainy night (Meltzer et al., 2017).
This “sexual afterglow” lasts for at least 24 hours, sometimes longer—science’s version of a warm-and-fuzzy fortune cookie (Dolan, 2025).
But here’s where it gets deliciously complicated. Mutual initiation—when both partners say, “Let’s dance”—yields the longest, brightest afterglow.
Conversely, rejection hits like a bad hangover, leaving bruises on the ego for days (Breedin et al., 2023).
This echoes earlier work from Muise et al. (2016), which found that perceived partner responsiveness during intimacy amplifies relationship satisfaction, suggesting the afterglow’s potency is less about mechanics and more about meaning.
In the diary-based studies conducted by Meltzer and Breedin, participants confessed their most intimate daily moments: who started it, who shut it down, and how it all felt (Meltzer et al., 2017; Breedin et al., 2023).
Interestingly, Breedin’s meta-analysis found that while rejection consistently stings, the length and severity of the sting vary.
In contrast, a study by Birnbaum and Reis (2012) indicated that sexual rejection only triggers lasting negativity when it’s interpreted as a sign of deeper relationship trouble.
Now, let’s talk biology—or the lack thereof
Breedin et al. (2023) found that attachment styles, sexual frequency preferences, and even gender didn’t significantly alter the afterglow effect.
This contradicts research by Impett et al. (2015), which suggested that folks with Anxious Attachment styles experience shorter afterglows due to rumination and insecurity.
The big takeaway?
Sex is not just about pleasure—it’s about perception. Responsiveness, consent, and mutuality drive satisfaction far more than technique. The afterglow, then, is less a chemical cocktail and more a relationship report card.
So, gentle reader, the universe’s cruelest joke: Sex, like life, is fleeting, awkward, and often profound.
The afterglow?
A reminder that connection matters more than performance. And yes, without bestowed attention a sense of connection tends to fade.
Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.
REFERENCES:
Birnbaum, G. E., & Reis, H. T. (2012). Reactions to partner-initiated sexual advances: The role of communication and implicit goals. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 29(5), 620–639.
Breedin, O. W., et al. (2023). Social Psychological and Personality Science.
Dolan, E. W. (2025). PsyPost.
Impett, E. A., Strachman, A., Finkel, E. J., & Gable, S. L. (2015). Maintaining sexual desire in long-term relationships: A daily diary analysis. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 109(4), 604–616.
Meltzer, A. L., et al. (2017). Psychological Science, 28(5), 587–598.
Muise, A., Impett, E. A., Kogan, A., & Desmarais, S. (2016). Keeping the spark alive: Sexual communal strength and satisfaction in long-term relationships. Social Psychological and Personality Science, 7(3), 244–251.