Why People Really Use Dating Apps (You Mean It’s Not Just Love or Hookups?)
Monday, September 29. 2025.
Let’s be honest—most people think dating apps exist for two things: desperate love and casual hookups. Swipe for marriage if you’re lucky, swipe for sex if you’re not.
But humans are not algorithms, and the science shows our reasons for logging on are far more complicated.
A new meta-synthesis published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships (McPherson, Luu, Nguyen, Garcia, & Robnett, 2025) analyzed 21 qualitative studies on dating app use worldwide.
When researchers actually listened to people instead of forcing them into multiple-choice boxes, they found motives that range from profound (companionship) to ridiculous (boredom scrolling between laundry loads).
The Eight Core Motivations for Using Dating Apps
The study identified eight categories of motives that explain why people swipe:
Romantic Relationships – Searching for love, marriage, or emotional connection.
Sexual Relationships – Short-term flings, sexual exploration, or intimacy within a committed relationship.
Socializing – Making friends, finding travel companions, or easing loneliness.
Entertainment – Passing time, stress relief, or casual distraction.
Self-enhancement – Building self-esteem, testing flirting skills, or experimenting with identity.
Convenience – Faster and easier than traditional dating methods.
Curiosity – “Everyone else is doing it, so why not?”
External Factors – Peer pressure, moving on after a breakup, or even business networking.
This aligns with earlier studies. Ranzini and Lutz (2017) found Tinder users often log on for self-validation, while Bryant and Sheldon (2017) highlighted boredom and entertainment as powerful motivators.
LGBTQ+ Users: Finding Safety and Belonging
For LGBTQ+ folks, dating apps are not just convenient—they’re survival tools. Offline dating can still carry stigma, rejection, or even violence. Apps provide safer, more controlled spaces to connect with like-minded people.
As Robnett’s team observed, queer users especially valued apps for the safety and belonging they offered (McPherson et al., 2025).
This finding echoes MacKee (2016), who found that queer Londoners used Tinder less for hookups and more for community. When the offline world feels hostile, apps become both a shield and a sanctuary.
Older Adults: Companionship Over Casual
You might imagine dating apps as playgrounds for the under-30 crowd, but older adults are there too—and often for different reasons. Research shows adults over 60 primarily use dating apps to find companionship, emotional support, and connection, not just sex (Vasilenko, Dush, & Kamp Dush, 2019).
A widowed man logging into Bumble isn’t playing the field— perhaps he’s avoiding isolation. For many, the apps function like a modern community center, just with a swipe interface instead of a bulletin board.
Gender Differences: More Myth Than Reality
Survey research often claims men are motivated by sex and women by romance (Sumter, Vandenbosch, & Ligtenberg, 2017). But the new synthesis found few gender differences when participants were allowed to describe their own motives (McPherson et al., 2025).
This suggests that much of the “men want sex, women want love” narrative may be more stereotype than actual science. People are simply more alike than we’re often told.
Hidden Motives and Off-Label Uses
Not all motives fit neatly into categories. Some participants admitted to using dating apps because:
Friends pressured them to join (“Everyone’s on Tinder—why aren’t you?”).
They wanted to recover after a breakup, using swipes to rebuild confidence.
They networked professionally, meeting clients or colleagues.
They were bored, treating apps like mobile games.
Traditional surveys rarely capture these motivations, yet they shape the way apps are actually used.
How Dating Apps (and Research) Might Adapt
Most apps are still built for two things: romance and hookups.
But research shows people also use them for friendship, entertainment, and self-growth.
Platforms could adapt by creating more flexible modes. Bumble has already introduced “BFF” and “Bizz” features, while others experiment with platonic filters.
Researchers, too, need to broaden their scope. Too many studies focus on young, straight, cisgender users in North America. That’s like studying cuisine by only sampling Olive Garden.
The Human Truth Behind the Swipe
The real takeaway: dating apps mirror human needs, not the other way around.
For one person, Tinder is a path to a soulmate. For another, it’s a cure for Sunday night loneliness. For someone else, it’s just a confidence boost.
We are not always reducible to “hookup vs. relationship.” We humans are messy, inventive primates making meaning—even through our screens.
Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.
REFERENCES:
Bryant, E. M., & Sheldon, P. (2017). Cyber relationship motives: Scale development and validation. Computers in Human Behavior, 73, 275–283. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chb.2017.03.058
MacKee, F. (2016). Social media in gay London: Tinder as an alternative to hook-up apps. Social Media + Society, 2(3), 1–10. https://doi.org/10.1177/2056305116662186
McPherson, J. L., Luu, C. Q., Nguyen, J. P., Garcia, M., & Robnett, R. D. (2025). Motives for engaging in online dating: A meta-synthesis. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. Advance online publication. https://doi.org/10.1177/02654075251345689
Ranzini, G., & Lutz, C. (2017). Love at first swipe? Explaining Tinder self-presentation and motives. Mobile Media & Communication, 5(1), 80–101. https://doi.org/10.1177/2050157916664559
Sumter, S. R., Vandenbosch, L., & Ligtenberg, L. (2017). Love me Tinder: Untangling emerging adults’ motivations for using the dating application Tinder. Telematics and Informatics, 34(1), 67–78. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.tele.2016.04.009
Vasilenko, S. A., Dush, C. M. K., & Kamp Dush, C. M. (2019). Older adults and online dating: Motives and experiences. The Gerontologist, 59(3), 446–454. https://doi.org/10.1093/geront/gny056