The Rise of Solo Poly: The Relationship Trend for People Who Hate Sharing Closets
Wednesday, February 19, 2025.
Are you tired of traditional relationships, but also kind of tired of non-traditional ones too?
Do you enjoy deep emotional connections but break out in hives at the thought of cohabitation, shared finances, or, God forbid, merging book collections?
Welcome to solo polyamory, the latest relationship trend that lets you have your romantic cake and eat it too—alone, in your own apartment, where no one leaves their wet towel on your side of the bed.
What Is Solo Polyamory?
At its core, solo polyamory (or Solo Poly, as some like to call it, mostly to annoy the rest of us) is the idea that you can maintain multiple romantic and/or sexual relationships while also prioritizing your independence.
Unlike traditional polyamory, where relationships often involve cohabitation, marriage, or at least a group chat with way too many emojis, solo poly allows you to structure your love life without compromising personal freedom. In other words: commitment without commitment.
But let’s not be naïve. This isn’t just about personal freedom—it’s also about never having to argue about whose turn it is to buy toilet paper.
The Appeal: Love Without Logistics
Advocates of solo polyamory will tell you it’s about rejecting outdated societal norms and redefining what it means to be in a relationship.
And while that may be true, let’s be honest: it’s also about dodging the responsibilities of being an actual partner.
No awkward holiday compromises, no passive-aggressive dishwashing stand-offs, and absolutely zero pain in the ass "babe, what are we?" situationship conversations.
In fact, solo poly folks often make it clear upfront that they belong to themselves first—an popular sentiment, but also one that conveniently sidesteps any need for long-term accountability.
It’s the relationship equivalent of freelancing. You get all the perks of multiple partners, without ever having to sign a full-time contract. Cultural Narcissism strikes again!
The Downsides: Loneliness and the Excel Sheet of Doom
Now, before we crown solo polyamory as the perfect model of modern love, let’s discuss some of the potential hiccups.
First off, emotional juggling is exhausting.
If keeping up with one partner’s emotional needs is work, managing multiple relationships without a central organizing structure is a full-time job. Some solo poly people literally use spreadsheets to keep track of dates, anniversaries, and who’s allergic to peanuts.
If you need project management software to track your love life, maybe—just maybe—this isn’t as effortless as it seems.
Then there’s the loneliness factor.
Sure, it’s liberating to go home to a quiet apartment with no obligations, but even the most fiercely independent Solo Poly folks sometimes find themselves missing the mindless comfort of a long-term partner. You know, the one who just gets you without having to explain your entire dating philosophy in a 10-slide PowerPoint presentation.
And let's not forget the jealousy paradox. In theory, solo poly is all about openness and trust. In practice, it often involves a lot of "I'm not jealous, but…" conversations and awkwardly supportive pep talks when one of your partners finds someone they actually want to move in with.
The Verdict: Empowering or Just Convenient?
At its best, solo polyamory is a radical rethinking of how love and relationships can function in a modern world.
At its worst, it’s an elaborate excuse to never buy a second toothbrush.
Is it empowering? For some, absolutely. Does it also provide an elegant loophole for people who just don’t want to deal with the messiness of committed relationships? Also yes.
If you love love but also love your space, your time, and your personal brand, solo poly might just be your perfect match.
But if you find yourself needing a Google Calendar reminder just to remember who you’re supposed to be in love with this week, you might want to reconsider.
Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.
REFERENCES:
Conley, T. D., Moors, A. C., Matsick, J. L., & Ziegler, A. (2013). The fewer the merrier? Assessing stigma surrounding consensually non-monogamous romantic relationships. Analyses of Social Issues and Public Policy, 13(1), 1-30. https://doi.org/10.1111/asap.12010
Rubel, A. N., Bogaert, A. F., & Dawson, S. J. (2021). Consensual non-monogamy: Psychological well-being and relationship quality correlates. Journal of Sex Research, 58(4), 465-479. https://doi.org/10.1080/00224499.2021.1875429