Gottman Method vs. EFT
Monday, February 19, 2024.
A Comparative Analysis of Gottman Method Couples Therapy and Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy
Couples therapy, practitioners often find themselves navigating a complex landscape of theories and approaches, each offering unique insights into the intricacies of intimate relationships.
Two prominent models garnered significant attention and acclaim: the Gottman Method of Couples Therapy and Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT).
As a couples therapist with advanced training in both models, understanding the similarities and differences between these two approaches can provide valuable guidance in tailoring interventions to meet the specific needs of each couple.
Theoretical Underpinnings…
The Gottman Method Couples Therapy, pioneered by Drs. John and Julie Gottman is firmly grounded in empirical research and observational studies of couples' interactions.
Central to this approach is the "Sound Relationship House," which outlines the essential components of a healthy relationship, including trust, intimacy, and effective communication. Through structured assessments and interventions, therapists using the Gottman Method aim to strengthen couples' friendships, manage conflict constructively, and promote shared meaning in their relationships.
In contrast, Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT), developed by Dr. Sue Johnson, draws heavily from attachment theory, emphasizing the innate human need for secure emotional bonds.
EFT views relationship distress through the lens of attachment patterns and interactional cycles, focusing on creating a safe and supportive emotional environment where partners can express their vulnerabilities and needs. By reshaping negative interaction patterns and fostering emotional attunement, therapists using EFT aim to promote secure attachment bonds and restore relationship harmony.
Assessment and Intervention…
Both the Gottman Method and EFT utilize structured assessments to understand couples' relationship dynamics and identify areas of strength and growth. The Gottman Relationship Checkup and the Sound Relationship House Theory provide therapists valuable insights into couples' communication patterns, conflict management styles, and emotional connection.
In Gottman Method of Couples Therapy, interventions often center around teaching couples specific skills to enhance communication, manage conflicts, and deepen intimacy. Couples may engage in exercises such as the "Love Maps" exercise, which encourages partners to develop a deeper understanding of each other's inner world, or the "Softened Start-Up," which teaches constructive ways to raise issues without triggering defensiveness.
In EFT, interventions focus on accessing and expressing underlying emotions and attachment needs within the couple's dynamic. Therapists guide couples through structured conversations known as the "Seven Core Conversations," designed to foster emotional connection, reshape interaction patterns, and promote secure attachment bonds. Through empathic attunement and responsiveness, partners learn to recognize and validate each other's emotional experiences, creating a sense of safety and trust.
Outcome Goals…
While both approaches share the overarching goal of fostering healthier, more fulfilling relationships, they may prioritize different aspects of the therapeutic process.
Gottman Method Couples Therapy strengthens various relationship dimensions, including friendship, intimacy, and conflict resolution. Therapists help couples build a solid foundation for long-term relationship success by teaching them effective communication and problem-solving skills.
In contrast, Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy prioritizes creating a secure emotional bond between partners as the primary goal.
By promoting emotional engagement, responsiveness, and accessibility, therapists help couples develop a deeper understanding of each other's inner world and cultivate a sense of closeness and connection. Through this process, partners learn to rely on each other for comfort and support, enhancing their overall satisfaction and well-being.
Gottman Method Couples Therapy and Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT), highlighting their similarities and differences:
Gottman Method Couples Therapy:
Theoretical Framework: The best thing about the Gottman Model is that it’s grounded in extensive empirical research conducted by John Gottman and his colleagues, focusing on identifying relationship patterns and predictors of marital success or distress.
Assessment: More than EFT, Gottman utilizes structured assessments, such as the Gottman Relationship Checkup and the Sound Relationship House Theory, to evaluate couples' relationship dynamics and areas of strength and growth.
Intervention Focus: Gottman emphasizes enhancing communication skills, managing conflicts constructively, and building friendship and intimacy within the relationship.
Skills Training: What I like most about the Gottman Method is that it teaches couples specific skills, such as expressing needs and desires and making effective repair attempts, to improve their interactions and connection.
Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse: Identifies four communication patterns—criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling—as destructive to relationships and focuses on replacing them with healthier communication styles.
Outcome Goals: Gottman aims to strengthen the friendship, fondness, and admiration between partners, increase emotional connection, and reduce negative interaction patterns.
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT):
Theoretical Framework: EFT is rooted in attachment theory, and the idea that secure emotional bonds are essential for relationship satisfaction and resilience. Developed by Sue Johnson.
Assessment: EFT focuses on understanding attachment patterns, emotional responses, and unmet attachment needs within the couple's dynamic through exploration of emotions and attachment history.
Intervention Focus: Creating and repairing attachment bonds by fostering emotional attunement, responsiveness, and accessibility between partners is an essential focus of EFT.
Change Process: EFT Emphasizes the importance of identifying and reframing negative interaction cycles, accessing and expressing underlying emotions and attachment needs, and promoting empathic responses and bonding moments.
Seven Core Conversations: EFT guides couples through structured conversations to deepen emotional connection, reshape interaction patterns, and foster secure attachment bonds.
Outcome Goals: Seeks to create a secure emotional bond between partners, increase emotional engagement and responsiveness, and promote safety and comfort within the relationship.
Similarities:
Both models emphasize the importance of understanding relationship dynamics, improving communication, and fostering emotional connection.
They both recognize the significance of addressing negative interaction patterns and promoting positive relationship behaviors.
Both the Gottman Method and EFT focus on providing couples with practical tools and skills to navigate conflicts and enhance intimacy.
Differences:
Gottman Method emphasizes empirical research findings and structured assessments, while EFT is more rooted in attachment theory and emotional exploration.
Gottman Method emphasizes specific communication skills and conflict management techniques, whereas EFT focuses on accessing and expressing underlying emotions and attachment needs. I tend to think of the efficacy of Gottman as traveling top-down and EFT rising bottom-up.
EFT prioritizes creating a secure attachment bond between partners as the primary goal. At the same time, the Gottman Method aims to strengthen various aspects of the relationship, including friendship, intimacy, and conflict resolution.
Final Thoughts
As couples therapists in a community of practice, we hopefully guide couples toward greater intimacy, connection, and mutual understanding during historically challenging times.
By integrating elements of the Gottman Method of Couples Therapy and Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, we can offer couples a comprehensive approach that addresses their unique needs and challenges. I’ve always felt that a deep understanding of these models was essential.
Whether enhancing communication skills, fostering emotional attunement, or promoting secure attachment bonds, the aim is to empower couples to build strong, resilient relationships that stand the test of time.
Be well, stay kind, and Godspeed.
REFERENCES:
Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (2015). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert. Harmony.
Johnson, S. M. (2008). Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love. Little, Brown Spark.
