Welcome to my Blog
Thank you for stopping by. This space is where I share research, reflections, and practical tools drawn from my experience as a marriage and family therapist.
Are you a couple looking for clarity? A professional curious about the science of relationships? Or simply someone interested in how love and resilience work? I’m glad you’ve found your way here. I can help with that.
Each post is written with one goal in mind: to help you better understand yourself, your partner, and the hidden dynamics that shape human connection.
Grab a coffee (or a notebook), explore what speaks to you, and take what’s useful back into your life and relationships. And if a post sparks a question, or makes you realize you could use more support, I’d love to hear from you.
Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.
~Daniel
P.S.
Feel free to explore the categories below to find past blog posts on the topics that matter most to you. If you’re curious about attachment, navigating conflict, or strengthening intimacy, these archives are a great way to dive deeper into the research and insights that I’ve been sharing for years.
- Attachment Issues
- Coronavirus
- Couples Therapy
- Extramarital Affairs
- Family Life and Parenting
- How to Fight Fair
- Inlaws and Extended Families
- Intercultural Relationships
- Marriage and Mental Health
- Married Life & Intimate Relationships
- Neurodiverse Couples
- Separation & Divorce
- Signs of Trouble
- Social Media and Relationships
- What Happy Couples Know
New Attachment Models: Where They Came From and What They Mean for Relationships
For decades, attachment theory has shaped the way we understand human relationships, from infancy to romantic partnerships.
Originating from John Bowlby’s (1969, 1982) work in the mid-20th century and further developed by Mary Ainsworth’s (1978) famous "Strange Situation" experiments, attachment theory has long categorized folks into Secure, Anxious, Avoidant, or Disorganized attachment styles.
However, as psychological research has expanded, new attachment models have emerged, challenging and refining these classic categories (Fraley & Roisman, 2019).
Dynamic-Maturational Model of Attachment and Adaptation (DMM): A New Lens on Relationships
The Dynamic-Maturational Model of Attachment and Adaptation (DMM) is a cutting-edge framework that reshapes our understanding of relationships, attachment, and emotional regulation.
Developed by Patricia Crittenden, DMM builds upon the foundational work of John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth, but expands their theories with a strong emphasis on how partners process information in response to danger and stress.
In the context of couples therapy, DMM offers profound insights into how attachment strategies shape relationship dynamics, conflict resolution, and emotional connection.
Virginia Satir and St. Paisios: What a Family Therapist and a Greek Orthodox Monk Can Teach Us About Healing Family Wounds
If Virginia Satir, the warm and endlessly optimistic mother of experiential family therapy, had ever set foot on Mount Athos, she probably would have been delighted to meet St. Paisios, one of modern Orthodoxy’s most beloved monks.
Not because he was a trained therapist—he wasn’t—but because his entire life was one long experiment in healing human hearts.
Satir believed that every family was a living, breathing system where emotional wounds got passed around like a contagious illness (Satir, 1983).
St. Paisios saw the same thing, except to him, family wounds were spiritual infections—and like all infections, they either worsened or healed (Agioritikovima, 2012).
Both of them, in their own ways, spent their lives telling people the same message:
"You’re not broken. You’re just stuck in a bad pattern. And good news—patterns can change."
Why Women Don’t Actually Want to Date a Psychopath
If you’ve been doomscrolling through the internet lately, you might have stumbled upon the claim that manipulative, self-absorbed, and delightfully callous folks—otherwise known as members of the "Dark Triad"—are irresistible to potential mates.
You may have even been led to believe that narcissists, Machiavellians, and psychopaths are cleaning up in the dating scene, leaving the rest of us hapless romantics in the dust.
But alas, a new study published in the Journal of Personality suggests that this notion is about as accurate as a horoscope predicting your ex will text you back.
Researchers Yavor Dragostinov and Tom Booth took a long, hard look at whether Dark Triad traits actually make someone more attractive in the eyes of potential partners—or if this so-called ‘bad boy’ appeal is just a modern fairy tale we keep telling ourselves to justify bad decisions.
Is Maria Goretti The Patron Saint of Boundaries?
My favorite saint is Maria Goretti. She is a truly modern saint, a symbol of something profoundly uncomfortable—something that has evolved in meaning over the last century.
To the Catholic Church, she is a martyr of purity, a girl who chose death rather than sexual defilement.
To my eyes, her story is far more complex: an act of brutal male entitlement, a crime of lust and control, a reflection of family dysfunction, and, perhaps most strikingly, a study of how trauma ripples across generations.
What Saint Joseph of Cupertino Teaches Us About Belonging
In the curious pantheon of Roman Catholic saints, few are as peculiar—or as profoundly instructive to family therapy—as St. Joseph of Cupertino (1603–1663).
Known as the "Flying Saint," Joseph was a Franciscan friar who reportedly levitated during prayer.
But before he became a celestial wonder, he was a bumbling, ridiculed, and unwanted man—a man who, by all worldly measures, should have been cast aside.
Radical Honesty and the Limits of Human Connection
Radical Honesty, as an idea, taps into the modern longing for authenticity.
It offers a seductive promise: that if we just tell the unvarnished truth, our relationships will be stronger, our inner conflicts will dissolve, and our lives will be free from the psychic burden of deception.
But Radical Honesty is not just a communication strategy; it is a worldview—one that assumes truth can be spoken without distortion, that vulnerability is always constructive, and that the self is best understood through unfiltered externalization.
In this critique, we will go beyond social niceties and relational harm—let’s probe the nature of truth, selfhood, morality, and human connection.
From Childhood Shadows to Workplace Struggles: How Early Emotional Abuse Shapes Power and Conflict in Professional Life
Workplaces are not just sites of productivity; they are social environments where past experiences, particularly childhood trauma, can shape interpersonal dynamics.
A recent study by Liu, Xu, and Yao (2024) published in Personality and Individual Differences explores how childhood emotional abuse influences workplace interactions, particularly among employees driven by a strong desire for power.
Their findings suggest that unresolved emotional wounds from childhood may spill over into professional relationships, contributing to workplace conflict and social exclusion.
The Science of Niceness: Why Being Kind Makes You Happier (and Less of a Grump)
Ever wondered why some people seem to radiate joy while others walk around looking like they’ve just bitten into a lemon?
Science may have cracked the code, and it turns out, it all comes down to one simple trait: niceness.
Yes, that old-fashioned virtue your grandma swore by is more than just good manners—it’s a distinct psychological trait, and according to research, it’s strongly linked to happiness.
So if you’re looking for an easy mood booster (that doesn’t require expensive supplements or hours of meditation), start by being a little nicer.
The Moral Chemistry of Oxytocin: How the 'Love Hormone' Shapes Our Sense of Right and Wrong
What if the key to a more ethical world was already nestled inside our brains? A new study published in Molecular Psychiatry suggests that oxytocin—often called the "love hormone"—may play a significant role in our moral compass.
Researchers found that administering oxytocin via a nasal spray increased feelings of guilt and shame, making folks less willing to harm others, even when such harm could lead to greater benefits.
This stands in stark contrast to vasopressin, another neuropeptide involved in social behavior, which showed no such effects.
These findings suggest that oxytocin could influence not just our social interactions but our fundamental moral decisions, potentially offering new pathways for understanding psychiatric conditions that involve deficits in moral reasoning.
Science Confirms: Yes, There’s a Butt Crack Bias
In the ever-evolving quest to understand human attraction, a new study published in Aesthetic Plastic Surgery has confirmed what many have long suspected: when people look at a female butt, their eyes are magnetically drawn to one place first—the intergluteal cleft, better known as the infamous butt crack.
Because this research is so vital for understanding the course of human destiny, researchers, (using eye-tracking technology), analyzed the subconscious visual habits of men and women when presented with images of female buttocks.
The findings? No matter the gender, people just can’t help but take a peek at the crack.
However, men and women have slightly different preferences when it comes to other rear-end details.
Psychedelics and the Mystery of Death: How Transcendent Experiences Diminish Fear
For as long as humans have been aware of their mortality, we have sought ways to soften the existential weight of death.
Some turn to religion, others to philosophy, and some—according to recent research—find solace in the transformative power of psychedelics.
A groundbreaking study published in the Journal of Psychoactive Drugs suggests that folks who use psychedelic substances report significantly lower levels of death anxiety, not because of the substances themselves, but because of the profound, transcendent experiences they facilitate.